The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK. Expenditure on Fast Foods (in Million Pounds) by Income Groups, UK 1990
Sample Response
The given bar graph compares the British expenditure on fast food based on the citizens’ income class in 1990. As is seen from the given illustration, high-income class British spent more on fast food items and the hamburger was their preferred item.
As is clear from the given diagram, high-income class British citizens spent more on fast food in 1990 than the average and low-income class citizens. High-income class people spent more than 40% on hamburger which is just over 30% for average income class and below 15% for low-income class. Interestingly average income class spent more on fish & chips and that shows that it is their favourite fast food item. They spend one-fourth of their total fast-food expenses on fish & chips while it was just above 15% both for the two other income classes. It is obvious that fish and chips are also popular among the low-income class as they spend their highest percentage on this item. Finally, the high-income class spent the highest amount on the pizza which was just below 20%. The pizza was least popular among the low and average income class British.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural noun phrase Original: the British expenditure Suggested revision: British consumers’ expenditure Why it matters: This phrase more naturally describes spending by people in the UK.
- 2. Use chart label Original: based on the citizens’ income class Suggested revision: by income group Why it matters: The chart groups consumers by income, so this is simpler and more accurate.
- 3. Concise reporting phrase Original: As is seen from Suggested revision: The chart shows that Why it matters: This avoids a formulaic passive opening.
- 4. Awkward group label Original: high-income class British Suggested revision: high-income British consumers Why it matters: The original word order is unnatural.
- 5. Wrong unit Original: more than 40% Suggested revision: about 47 million pounds Why it matters: The y-axis shows million pounds, not percentages.
- 6. Wrong unit Original: just over 30% Suggested revision: about 33 million pounds Why it matters: Use the monetary unit from the chart.
- 7. Wrong unit Original: below 15% Suggested revision: about 14 million pounds Why it matters: The figure is an amount in million pounds, not a proportion.
- 8. Missing article Original: average income class spent Suggested revision: the average-income group spent Why it matters: Use an article and a hyphenated compound before the noun.
- 9. Invented proportion Original: one-fourth of their total fast-food expenses Suggested revision: about 25 million pounds Why it matters: The chart does not show each group’s total fast-food budget.
- 10. Use past tense Original: They spend Suggested revision: They spent Why it matters: The chart describes expenditure in 1990.
- 11. Wrong unit Original: just below 20% Suggested revision: about 19 million pounds Why it matters: The pizza figure is measured in million pounds.
- 12. Natural group label Original: low and average income class British Suggested revision: low- and average-income British consumers Why it matters: This is more idiomatic and precise.
Suggested Rewrites
- the British expenditure British consumers’ expenditure
- based on the citizens’ income class by income group
- As is seen from The chart shows that
- high-income class British high-income British consumers
- more than 40% about 47 million pounds
- just over 30% about 33 million pounds
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main pattern that high-income consumers spent most and that hamburgers dominated the higher income groups. However, it repeatedly reports monetary values as percentages, even though the chart is in million pounds, and it gives limited detail on the low-income group and pizza.
Rewrite all figures as million pounds and include the key contrast that fish and chips were highest only for low-income consumers.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a clear introduction, overview and detail section. Progression is understandable, but cohesion relies on repeated formulaic openings and one crowded body paragraph.
Group the details by food item or income group and reduce repeated phrases such as As is clear from the given diagram.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the task, but several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, especially class British, the pizza and percentage language for spending data.
Use precise chart language such as high-income consumers, average-income group, spent 47 million pounds and lowest expenditure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentences are understandable, but article use, tense and noun-phrase control are inconsistent. The errors reduce accuracy but rarely block meaning.
Use past tense for 1990 data and proofread articles before income-group labels.