The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Sample Response
The diagram shows the geographical process by which rain-shadow deserts are created.how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Overall, the process consists of several stages, beginning with winds approaching the coast and ending with dry winds reaching inland areas, where a rain-shadow desert is formed. Winds travel thousands of kilometers during this process.
Initially, winds approach the coast from the sea. These winds are pushedWinds are pushed upwards when they are close to the windward side of mountains. Moist air rises and cools leading to cloud formationin this area where clouds are formed. As the air continues to rise, more clouds form near the top of the mountains.Subsequently, rain falls near the top of the mountains. Following this,Meanwhile, after the rain falls, the remaining dry air continues over the mountains and moves down the leeward side of the mountains. Finally, dry winds reach inland areas. This creates a rain-shadow desertThe rain-shadow desert is formed because no moist air reaches inland areas.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response provides a clear, accurate step-by-step description of the process, backed by an effective overview of the entire sequence. However, the summary falls slightly short of the recommended word count and relies on repetitive sentence structures in the detail paragraph. To improve performance, expand slightly on the physical details depicted in the diagram and vary the sentence patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The writing covers all key stages of the process accurately and includes a clear overall overview.
Elaborate slightly on details such as the loss of moisture to easily satisfy the word count requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically with clear progression throughout the multi-stage sequence.
Vary sequential transitions to avoid repetitive sentence openings across the body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response utilizes terminology from the visual prompt correctly alongside appropriate general vocabulary.
Use more varied synonyms and phrasing to avoid overusing words like mountains and winds.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is accurate with a strong range of structures, including passive voice and complex sentences.
Combine short, sequential clauses into compound-complex sentences to create a smoother grammatical flow.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.