The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.
Sample Response
These diagramsThis diagram shows that there are a series of stagesa number of processes involved in the commercial production of frozen fish pies. The main ingredients areingredients consist of fresh salmon, peas and sauce, andwith sliced potatoes, and they are prepared separately. The potatoes, which may be deliveredwhich may have been delivered up to a month in advance, are cleaned, peeled and cut into slices. The slices are boiled and then chilled before being stored until needed. The preparation of the fish is more labour intensive than the preparation of the potatoes. Within twelve hours of being delivered to the factory, the fresh fish is steamedcooked by being steamed with lemon juice and salt. Then the skin and bones are removed by hand and disposed of, before a visual inspection takes place.
After this, the pies are assembled in microwaveable containers. Peascontainers Peas and sauce, which have also been prepared, are added to the fish and then eachthe pie is covered with a layer of cooked potato slices. The pies are then wrapped and frozen. At this point they are ready for dispatch, or they may be stored at the factory before being dispatched.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents the production sequence comprehensively, selecting the key timings, preparation stages, assembly, freezing and dispatch details with strong clarity. Its main limitation is a small amount of imprecision in expression and sentence control, especially the claim about relative labour intensity and the missing stop after 'containers.' The highest-priority improvement is to keep interpretations strictly visual and proofread sentence boundaries while preserving the effective chronological organization.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately covers the separate potato and salmon preparation lines, assembly, wrapping, freezing, storage and dispatch, with a useful opening overview.
Avoid unsupported interpretation by replacing the comparison of labour intensity with an explicitly visible contrast between the two preparation sequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description follows the process in a highly coherent sequence, with effective referencing and a clear transition into final assembly.
Separate the overview from the detailed potato and fish stages so the process structure is even easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise process vocabulary, including 'steamed,' 'visual inspection,' 'assembled' and 'dispatched,' conveys the stages concisely.
Refine the awkward construction 'ingredients consist of' to 'main ingredients are' while maintaining the same technical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex passive and relative-clause structures are handled accurately throughout, apart from a missing sentence boundary and a few minor phrasing slips.
Proofread punctuation at clause and sentence boundaries, especially by adding a full stop after 'microwaveable containers.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.