The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
Sample Response
The illustration gives information on the possible places to construct a supermarket in Garlsdon. Overall, it is clearly shown that one of the possible sites of a supermarket is in the countryside while the other in the town centre.
Firstly, it is apparent that the first site of the supermarket (S1) is located in the countryside where it is far away from the town centre and residential places. However, it is reachable by the public from the town centre and their housing areas by train and other transports on roads as there are a railway track and the main road connecting the supermarket and town centre. In addition, although it is located near to Hendon, its location is far away from Bransdon and Gransdon which have a higher population than Hindon.
Turning to the second possible site of the supermarket (S2), it is apparent that, it is situated in the centre of the town where every citizen in the town can easily access. It is fairly convenient for those living in Hindon and Gransdon as there are two ways to reach it, either by train or through the main roads. On the other hand, those from Bransdon can only visit the supermarket through the main road.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. More precise noun Original: possible places Suggested revision: possible sites Why it matters: The task uses "sites", which is more precise for a planned supermarket.
- 2. Missing verb Original: while the other in the town centre Suggested revision: while the other is in the town centre Why it matters: The clause needs a verb.
- 3. Article reference Original: a supermarket is in the countryside Suggested revision: the supermarket is in the countryside Why it matters: You are referring to the planned supermarket site.
- 4. Overstatement Original: far away from the town centre and residential places Suggested revision: outside the town centre and near the western edge of the housing area Why it matters: S1 is outside the centre but still close to part of Garlsdon.
- 5. Awkward phrase Original: other transports on roads Suggested revision: road transport Why it matters: This is shorter and more natural.
- 6. Agreement Original: there are a railway track Suggested revision: there is a railway line Why it matters: Use singular agreement and the standard map term.
- 7. Place name Original: Hendon Suggested revision: Hindon Why it matters: Use the exact town name from the map.
- 8. Place name Original: Gransdon Suggested revision: Cransdon Why it matters: The map labels the town as Cransdon.
- 9. Clear comparison Original: higher population than Hindon Suggested revision: larger populations than Hindon Why it matters: This comparison is useful but should be expressed clearly.
- 10. Remove comma Original: it is apparent that, it is situated Suggested revision: it is apparent that it is situated Why it matters: Do not place a comma after "that" here.
- 11. Unsupported claim Original: every citizen in the town can easily access Suggested revision: residents of Garlsdon may find it easier to access Why it matters: The map does not prove every citizen can easily access it.
- 12. Map accuracy Original: two ways to reach it Suggested revision: rail access and road links to the town Why it matters: Mention the railway and roads without overstating direct routes.
Suggested Rewrites
- possible places possible sites
- while the other in the town centre while the other is in the town centre
- a supermarket is in the countryside the supermarket is in the countryside
- far away from the town centre and residential places outside the town centre and near the western edge of the housing area
- other transports on roads road transport
- there are a railway track there is a railway line
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response identifies S1 in the countryside and S2 in the town centre, and it compares access from surrounding towns. It misses the key no-traffic-zone issue for S2 and has some unsupported statements about access and residential areas.
Describe S2 as central but inside the traffic-free town centre, and compare distances to Hindon, Bransdon, and Cransdon more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization is clear, with an overview and separate paragraphs for S1 and S2. Some sentences are overloaded and linking is repetitive.
Keep one main idea per sentence and vary linking beyond "however" and "in addition".
Lexical Resource
There is enough map vocabulary, but some place names and transport phrases are inaccurate or awkward.
Use exact labels from the map, such as Cransdon, railway, main road, countryside, and no traffic zone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The message is clear, but there are frequent article, preposition, and punctuation errors.
Check clauses after "where", remove unnecessary commas, and use singular/plural forms accurately.