The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
Sample Response
The given map shows two possible locations for the planned supermarket in Garsdon City. As is presented in the illustration, the city has a population of more than 65 thousand and the two possible locations for the supermarket are near Hindon area and in the middle of the industrial area.
Overall, the first location (S1) would be both away from the town centre and out of the crowd, which would be more convenient for the citizens of Hindson area, while the second location (S2) would be advantageous for the people of Bransdon and Cransdon area. According to the map, the railway surrounds the city and intersects the city almost in the middle. There are main roads for transportation and countryside surrounds the main housings and industries of the city. The housing of the city is mainly in the North and South sides of the city and the town centre is in the middle of the industrial area. The first possible location for the planned supermarket is near the Hindon area where almost ten thousand inhabitants live and the location is in the north-west corner. This location would be ideal for the Hindon people for shopping but the people of Crandon and Brandon, which have great more population, would be far away from this supermarket. The second possible location which is almost in the centre of the city would be surrounded by industrial zones and housings in the North and South sides of the city. This would be an ideal place as it would connect all the shoppers in the three parts of the city. Since the railway passes near this location, this would be a better place in terms of communication as well.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Place name Original: Garsdon City Suggested revision: Garlsdon Why it matters: The map labels the town as Garlsdon, not Garsdon City.
- 2. Place name Original: Hindson area Suggested revision: Hindon Why it matters: The map label is Hindon.
- 3. Map accuracy Original: railway surrounds the city Suggested revision: railway runs through the city Why it matters: The railway crosses the area; it does not surround the city.
- 4. More precise Original: intersects the city almost in the middle Suggested revision: passes close to the town centre and S2 Why it matters: This ties the railway feature more accurately to the supermarket sites.
- 5. Uncountable noun Original: main housings Suggested revision: main housing areas Why it matters: 'Housing' is normally uncountable in this context.
- 6. Map feature Original: town centre is in the middle of the industrial area Suggested revision: town centre is surrounded by the built-up area Why it matters: The town centre is a no-traffic zone within the town, not simply the middle of industry.
- 7. Place names Original: Crandon and Brandon Suggested revision: Cransdon and Bransdon Why it matters: Both nearby town names are misspelled.
- 8. Comparison form Original: great more population Suggested revision: much larger populations Why it matters: This is the correct comparative phrase.
- 9. Noun form Original: housings Suggested revision: housing areas Why it matters: 'Housing areas' is the natural map-description phrase.
- 10. Avoid overclaim Original: all the shoppers in the three parts of the city Suggested revision: shoppers from Garlsdon and the nearby towns Why it matters: The map does not prove it would connect all shoppers equally.
- 11. Evidence-based overview Original: Overall, the first location (S1) would be both away from the town centre and out of the crowd, which would be more convenient for the citizens of Hindson area, while the second location (S2) would be advantageous for the people of Bransdon and Cransdon area. Suggested revision: Overall, S1 is outside Garlsdon to the northwest and would serve Hindon better, whereas S2 is more central, inside the town centre, and closer to the main residential and industrial areas. Why it matters: This overview uses visible map evidence and avoids unsupported wording like 'out of the crowd'.
- 12. Correct railway description Original: According to the map, the railway surrounds the city and intersects the city almost in the middle. Suggested revision: According to the map, the railway runs diagonally through Garlsdon and passes close to S2 as well as near S1. Why it matters: The railway does not form a ring around the town.
Suggested Rewrites
- Garsdon City Garlsdon
- Hindson area Hindon
- railway surrounds the city railway runs through the city
- intersects the city almost in the middle passes close to the town centre and S2
- main housings main housing areas
- town centre is in the middle of the industrial area town centre is surrounded by the built-up area
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response describes both sites and the surrounding settlements, but it over-interprets convenience and makes some visual inaccuracies, especially saying the railway surrounds the city. It should focus more on S1 being outside the town/countryside and S2 being in the town centre/no traffic zone.
Revise by comparing access: S1 is northwest near Hindon and the railway, while S2 is central in the no-traffic town centre and closer to Garlsdon residents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer has paragraphs and a generally logical map description, although some information is repeated and the evaluative comments are not always tied to map evidence.
Keep one overview and group details by site rather than moving between roads, housing, and nearby towns repeatedly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for map description, but several names are misspelled and phrases such as 'great more population' and 'housings' are unnatural.
Use exact place names from the map: Garlsdon, Hindon, Bransdon, and Cransdon; use 'housing areas' instead of 'housings'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally clear, but there are article errors, awkward relative clauses, and several long sentences with overloaded comparisons.
Shorten sentences and use direct comparisons: 'S1 is closer to Hindon, whereas S2 is more central for Garlsdon residents'.