The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012.
Sample Response
The presented table compares the number of passengers in three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. The Frankfurt airport served more passengers than other airports and air travellers in these airports more than doubled in five years. As is provided as a census of a perusal, the given illustration gives passenger numbers at Dusseldorf, Berlin Tegel and Frankfurt airports. Initially, in 2007, more than 36 million people used Frankfurt airport, while 17.3 million preferred Berlin Tegel airport. Dusseldorf airport, in this year, receipted 27.2 million travellers. The number of Dusseldorf airport passengers swelled up until 2009 and reached to 48.2 million as peak and then declined its proportion till 2011 and met 33.2 million and then this ratio plunged to 45.6 million in 2012. In the similar fashion, Berlin Tegel's passenger increased with mild tilt until 2008 and spouted with a steep slope and received 39.9 million travellers in 2009. After that, it served to 43.3 million commuters in 2010 and tended with no fluctuation until 2012. The quota of the Frankfurt airport travellers rose monotonously from 2007 until 2012 with a gentle slope and stood at 69.3 million at last.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid invented preference Original: preferred Berlin Tegel airport Suggested revision: used Berlin Tegel Airport Why it matters: The table records airport use and provides no evidence about travellers’ preferences.
- 2. Improve time reference Original: Dusseldorf airport, in this year Suggested revision: In the same year, Dusseldorf Airport Why it matters: The revised placement creates a natural link to the preceding 2007 comparison.
- 3. Use passenger verb Original: receipted Suggested revision: served Why it matters: “Receipted” does not mean that an airport handled a number of travellers.
- 4. Use neutral trend verb Original: swelled up Suggested revision: rose Why it matters: “Rose” is the appropriate formal verb for an increase in passenger numbers.
- 5. Fix peak structure Original: reached to 48.2 million as peak Suggested revision: peaked at 48.2 million Why it matters: “Peak at” is the correct verb-preposition pattern for a maximum value.
- 6. Describe number directly Original: declined its proportion Suggested revision: declined Why it matters: The table gives passenger numbers, not proportions, and “decline” does not take this object here.
- 7. Clarify endpoint Original: till Suggested revision: by Why it matters: “By” naturally identifies the year in which the decline reached 33.2 million.
- 8. Use value verb Original: met Suggested revision: reached Why it matters: A statistical figure reaches a value rather than “meets” it.
- 9. Correct trend direction Original: this ratio plunged to 45.6 million Suggested revision: the figure rebounded to 45.6 million Why it matters: Dusseldorf rose from 33.2 million in 2011 to 45.6 million in 2012, so it did not plunge.
- 10. Fix linking phrase Original: In the similar fashion Suggested revision: Similarly Why it matters: The idiomatic linker is “similarly” or “in a similar fashion”.
- 11. Use plural measure Original: Berlin Tegel's passenger Suggested revision: Berlin Tegel's passenger numbers Why it matters: The trend concerns a series of passenger totals, so a plural measured noun is required.
- 12. Use clear trend phrase Original: increased with mild tilt Suggested revision: increased moderately Why it matters: “Mild tilt” is not a natural description of a table value.
Suggested Rewrites
- preferred Berlin Tegel airport used Berlin Tegel Airport
- Dusseldorf airport, in this year In the same year, Dusseldorf Airport
- receipted served
- swelled up rose
- reached to 48.2 million as peak peaked at 48.2 million
- declined its proportion declined
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers all three airports and supports most trends with relevant figures, especially Frankfurt's continuous rise and Berlin Tegel's later plateau. Its main limitation is unreliable precision: the overview overstates total growth, Frankfurt was not highest in every year, and Dusseldorf rose rather than plunged in 2012. Prioritize checking direction and comparison claims against the table, then express them with standard data-reporting language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three airport series are addressed with several correct values, but the overview and the description of Dusseldorf in 2012 contain important inaccuracies.
State that Frankfurt finished highest, note Dusseldorf's 2009 peak and 2012 rebound, and describe Berlin Tegel's plateau from 2010.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves from an overview into airport-by-airport details, but the single dense paragraph and repeated introductory material weaken progression.
Use a separate overview and group the fluctuating series together before presenting Frankfurt's steady increase.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts varied trend language, but frequent inappropriate choices such as receipted, mild tilt, spouted, quota, and plunged obscure precision.
Use a smaller set of accurate terms such as received, rose, peaked, fell, recovered, and remained stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent errors in articles, verb patterns, agreement, and long clause chains reduce control.
Break the longest sentences into separate time stages and correct forms such as reached a peak, declined to, and rose to.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.