The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. Percentage change in average house prices in five different cities 1990 - 2002 compared with 1989.
Sample Response
The bar chart demonstrates what changes five major cities experienced in average house prices in the span of periods: 1990-1995 and 1996-2002, compared with the average home value of 1989. Overall, house buying costs went down considerably in New York, Tokyo and London between the period of 1990-1996 while it augmented dramatically in London with a gradual increase in New York and Madrid cities during 1996-2002. A closer look at the graph reveals the fact that average houses purchasing price during 1900-1995 in Tokyo and London decreased by approximately 7% compared with the average price in 1989. However, during the same period, Madrid and Frankfurt experienced a property price rise by about 1% and 1.5% respectively. Looking at the figures between 1996-2002, average house price in London went up dramatically, almost 12%, the largest property price hike. Meanwhile, property prices upsurged by 5%, just below 5% and around 1% consecutively in New York, Madrid and Frankfurt. Interestingly, only London went through 5% decline in average price of houses over the same period of time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart term Original: house buying costs Suggested revision: house prices Why it matters: The chart measures house prices, not the broader costs of buying a house.
- 2. Fix time phrase Original: between the period of 1990-1996 Suggested revision: during 1990-1995 Why it matters: Use “during” for a period and match the first date range shown in the chart.
- 3. Clarify price rise Original: it augmented dramatically Suggested revision: prices rose dramatically Why it matters: “Augmented” is unnatural here, and “it” has no clear singular referent.
- 4. Avoid invented trend Original: with a gradual increase Suggested revision: with increases Why it matters: The chart compares period averages and does not show a gradual year-by-year trend.
- 5. Remove extra noun Original: Madrid cities Suggested revision: Madrid Why it matters: Madrid is one city, so the plural noun is incorrect.
- 6. Use concise reporting Original: reveals the fact that Suggested revision: shows that Why it matters: The shorter reporting phrase is clearer and more direct.
- 7. Fix noun phrase Original: average houses purchasing price Suggested revision: average house purchase prices Why it matters: The compound noun requires singular modifiers and a plural head noun.
- 8. Correct date range Original: 1900 Suggested revision: 1990 Why it matters: The first period begins in 1990, not 1900.
- 9. Improve data precision Original: by approximately 7% Suggested revision: by approximately 7–8% Why it matters: Both Tokyo and London are shown at roughly 7.5% below the 1989 level.
- 10. Add article Original: average house price in London Suggested revision: the average house price in London Why it matters: This singular countable noun phrase needs the definite article.
- 11. Add change preposition Original: went up dramatically, almost 12% Suggested revision: rose dramatically by almost 12% Why it matters: A numerical change is expressed with “rose by,” not simply followed by the figure.
- 12. Use neutral wording Original: the largest property price hike Suggested revision: the largest increase shown Why it matters: “Increase” is more precise and appropriately formal for chart reporting.
Suggested Rewrites
- house buying costs house prices
- between the period of 1990-1996 during 1990-1995
- it augmented dramatically prices rose dramatically
- with a gradual increase with increases
- Madrid cities Madrid
- reveals the fact that shows that
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear period-by-period organisation and its identification of London's sharp later rise. However, several figures are inaccurate, and the final sentence wrongly attributes the later 5% fall to London rather than Tokyo, contradicting an earlier statement. The highest-priority improvement is to verify every city label and value against the chart before writing the overview and details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response provides an overview and covers both periods, but inaccurate figures and the incorrect final identification of London weaken data accuracy.
Check each bar carefully and report that Tokyo, not London, fell by about 5% in 1996-2002.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to details for each period, although the contradictory final sentence disrupts the account.
Use one consistently ordered comparison for all five cities in each period and remove statements that conflict with earlier data.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of trend vocabulary, but several choices and collocations, such as "average houses purchasing price" and "upsurged," are unnatural.
Prefer precise standard phrases such as "average house prices rose" and "recorded a decline" over strained alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of sentence structures, but recurring article, noun-phrase, preposition, and time-expression errors reduce control.
Review complex noun phrases and period expressions, using forms such as "during 1990-1995" and "the average price of houses."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. Percentage change in average house prices in five different cities 1990 - 2002 compared with 1989.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.