The diagram below shows how coffee is produced and prepared for sale in supermarkets and shops.
Sample Response
The diagram shows the information about the packaging and preparation of coffee for sale.
Overall, it can be seen that the given diagram involves 11 steps. The process starts from picking the coffee beans and ends at pack into jars.
Initially, coffee beans are picked from their plants, and then they are dried into the sunlight in the open ground. After drying, the beans are roasted. Before grinding, they are cooled down rapidly. Subsequently, the ground powder is mixed with hot water, and after that, it is strained.
In the following step, the strained mixture is frozen, and again it is ground. The powder is dried up once more in the last step, but this time into the vacuum. Finally, the dried vacuumed powder is packed into jars. Once they are packed, they are labeled with coffee tags and get ready for sale.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise introduction Original: shows the information about Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: Shows already introduces the subject, so the information about is redundant.
- 2. Fix starting phrase Original: from Suggested revision: with Why it matters: A process starts with an action rather than starts from it.
- 3. Fix ending phrase Original: ends at pack Suggested revision: ends with packing Why it matters: Ends with requires a gerund to name the final stage.
- 4. Use correct preposition Original: dried into the sunlight Suggested revision: dried in the sun Why it matters: In the sun is the natural expression for this drying method.
- 5. Fix location phrase Original: in the open ground Suggested revision: on open ground Why it matters: On is the appropriate preposition for a ground surface.
- 6. Name material clearly Original: powder Suggested revision: coffee Why it matters: Ground coffee identifies the material more precisely than ground powder.
- 7. Clarify sequence Original: and again it is ground Suggested revision: and then ground again Why it matters: Then presents the repeated grinding stage in a clearer chronological sequence.
- 8. Fix vacuum phrase Original: into the vacuum Suggested revision: in a vacuum Why it matters: The process occurs in a vacuum, which requires this preposition and article.
- 9. Use passive state Original: get Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The jars are in a ready state rather than becoming ready through an active action.
- 10. Name process scope Original: the packaging and preparation Suggested revision: the production and packaging Why it matters: The diagram covers the full production sequence as well as final packaging.
- 11. Make overview direct Original: it can be seen that the given diagram involves Suggested revision: the process consists of Why it matters: The direct subject and verb make the overview more concise and precise.
- 12. Name source precisely Original: their Suggested revision: coffee Why it matters: Coffee plants is clearer than the vague possessive reference their plants.
Suggested Rewrites
- shows the information about shows
- from with
- ends at pack ends with packing
- dried into the sunlight dried in the sun
- in the open ground on open ground
- powder coffee
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response follows the process accurately from picking the beans through packing the finished coffee and provides a clear overview of the eleven stages. Its main limitation is slightly under-length treatment combined with several awkward grammatical and lexical forms. The highest priority is to add a little more precise description of the transformations while correcting prepositions and verb patterns used for each stage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All major stages are presented in the correct sequence with a clear start-to-finish overview, although the response is seven words below the expected minimum.
Meet the word requirement by describing the changes from liquid to frozen material and then to dried coffee more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced and paragraphing clearly separates the overview and stages, with effective chronological linking overall.
Reduce repetitive sequencing phrases and make the relationship between freezing, regrinding, and vacuum drying especially explicit.
Lexical Resource
Relevant process vocabulary is used with some flexibility, but collocations such as 'dried into the sunlight', 'into the vacuum', and 'coffee tags' are inaccurate.
Use natural forms such as 'dried in the sun', 'vacuum-dried', and 'labelled jars'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of passive and complex structures is mostly controlled, though errors in verb complements, prepositions, and reference remain noticeable.
Correct forms such as 'ends with the coffee being packed' and check prepositions and pronoun agreement throughout.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how coffee is produced and prepared for sale in supermarkets and shops.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.