The diagram below shows how coffee is produced and prepared for sale in supermarkets and shops.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the procedure of coffee production for sale. Diagram describes the different steps following for the process of preparation for sale.
Overall, the production of coffee consists of 11 steps, and the first step of the process collects the coffee beans and dries them in the presence of sunlight. After that, these seeds should roast and cool rapidly. Once it cooled, grains should grind and mix with hot water.
The next step is also to be appropriately strained. Otherwise, it is too challenging to make powder. At the next stage, the strained mixture should freeze, and at the same time, it has to be dry in a vacuum. This is the packing stage. It can be kept in small jars. Finally, the coffee powder is packed into jars, and it is ready to be delivered for sale.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the product Original: coffee production Suggested revision: instant coffee production Why it matters: The process produces dried instant coffee for sale in jars.
- 2. Add article Original: Diagram describes Suggested revision: The diagram describes Why it matters: The singular countable noun “diagram” requires the definite article.
- 3. Fix clause structure Original: the different steps following for the process of preparation for sale Suggested revision: the steps involved in preparing coffee for sale Why it matters: The original participle and preposition combination is ungrammatical.
- 4. Separate overview detail Original: consists of 11 steps, and the Suggested revision: consists of 11 steps. The Why it matters: Separating the general overview from the first detailed stages improves progression.
- 5. Use accurate noun Original: these seeds Suggested revision: the beans Why it matters: The diagram consistently identifies the harvested material as coffee beans.
- 6. Use passive voice Original: should roast Suggested revision: are roasted Why it matters: The beans receive the action, so a present passive form is required.
- 7. Complete passive form Original: cool Suggested revision: cooled Why it matters: “Cooled” must parallel the preceding passive verb “are roasted.”
- 8. Fix reference and tense Original: Once it cooled Suggested revision: Once they have cooled Why it matters: The plural beans require “they,” and the completed stage needs a perfect form.
- 9. Keep noun consistent Original: grains Suggested revision: the beans Why it matters: “Coffee beans” is the accurate term for the material being ground at this stage.
- 10. Use passive form Original: should grind Suggested revision: are ground Why it matters: The beans are acted upon, so the sentence requires the passive voice.
- 11. Complete passive form Original: mix Suggested revision: mixed Why it matters: This verb must remain parallel with “are ground” in the passive sequence.
- 12. Name the object Original: is also to be appropriately strained Suggested revision: is to strain the mixture Why it matters: The revision gives the action a clear object and removes the awkward passive construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- coffee production instant coffee production
- Diagram describes The diagram describes
- the different steps following for the process of preparation for sale the steps involved in preparing coffee for sale
- consists of 11 steps, and the consists of 11 steps. The
- these seeds the beans
- should roast are roasted
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents the production sequence in a generally understandable order and uses several appropriate process terms. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes inaccurate coverage: it is under length, does not clearly summarise the linear process, omits grinding the frozen liquid, and confuses vacuum-drying with packing. Add a concise overview and describe all eleven stages in their correct order, using accurate passive forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most broad stages are mentioned, but the overview is weak, the second grinding stage is omitted, vacuum-drying is misrepresented, and the response is slightly under length.
Summarise the process from bean picking to jar packing and include grinding the frozen liquid before vacuum-drying.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response broadly follows the process order and uses paragraphing, but some linking is mechanical or illogical, particularly "Otherwise" and "at the same time".
Organise the stages into clear chronological groups and use sequence markers only where they accurately express the relationship between steps.
Lexical Resource
Relevant process vocabulary such as "roast", "strain", and "vacuum" is used, but range is limited and several word choices or collocations are imprecise.
Use accurate process phrases such as "the beans are roasted", "the mixture is frozen", and "the frozen liquid is ground".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in passive voice, agreement, articles, and verb forms reduce control and sometimes strain comprehension.
Build each stage with a controlled passive structure, using "is/are + past participle" consistently and checking subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how coffee is produced and prepared for sale in supermarkets and shops.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.