The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
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Sample Response
The line chart illustrates changes in the number of participants attending five kinds of activities at a certain social center in Melbourne, Australia from 2000 to 2020.
Overall, over this period, the popularity of table tennis and musical performancesthe table tennis and the musical performances increased to varying degrees and the number of people taking part in amateur dramatics decreased, while the figure for the film clubthe figure for film club and martial arts experienced some variations before bouncing back to the starting level, with the film club remaining dominantdominating during this period.
In terms of the upward trends,As seen, the table tennis and musical performances became more popularfavored. To be specific, the figure for table tennis was just below 20 in 2000 , and then this figure saw a slight upward trend to exactly 20 in 2005 and remained at 20 until 2010to nearly 20 in 2010 , matching that of amateur dramatics in 2010surpassing that of amateur dramatics, before increasing rapidly to above 50 in 2020. Similarly, the number of participants inthe people who held interest in musical performances was the lowest, increasing slowly from zero prior to 2005from a negligible level in 2005 to just below 20 in 2020, overtaking that of amateur dramatics.
However, the situation was different for the number of participants participating inhooked by film club, martial arts and amateur dramatics. Specifically, the film club was the most popular, standing at about 65, dropping slowly to 60 in 2010 , while returning to its initial level of around 65the normal value. The martial arts held a middle positionheld middle position, experiencing some variations and then keeping at the point of approximately 3545. In contrast, amateur dramatics rose brieflytransitorily and reached its peak of nearly 30, before showingshowed a decline to the a low of around 6 participants in 2020lowest position in 2020.
Why this response received Band 7.0
文章全面梳理了折线图的主要趋势与关键数据,段落分工明确且包含清晰的总结段。整体逻辑连贯且词汇句式丰富,但在部分具体数据的精准度(如武术项目的人数描述)及局部语法搭配上仍有改进空间。建议进一步提高图表细节提炼的准确性,并注意非谓语动词与介词短语的精准用法。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务完成度
文章包含清晰的整体趋势概述,并对五项活动的变化进行了合理的比较与描述,但局部数据不够精准。
注意核对武术(martial arts)等具体数值,确保文中提到的数据范围与图表坐标轴完全一致。
连贯与衔接
文章结构清晰,段落衔接自然,合理使用了对比和递进的逻辑连接词。
尝试使用更多样、自然的过渡表达,避免过于机械的描述性连接词(如 To be specific)。
词汇资源
词汇量丰富且具备一定的灵活性,能够使用多种动词和形容词描述趋势变化。
注意学术写作中的词汇搭配,避免使用口语化或不恰当的表达(如 hooked by 和 normal value)。
语法多样性与准确性
能够熟练运用多种复杂句型,语意表达通顺,大部分句子结构完整。
加强对连词与非谓语动词连接结构的检查,修正如 before showed a decline 等局部语法错误。