The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
Sample Response
The pie charts illustrate the proportionsproportion of online sales for travel, film andor music, books and clothes in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013New Zealand in two selected years. In general, the travel and film/music sectorstravel and film and music made up the largest proportionsproportion of the total online sales in both yearstotal online sales in two selected years.
In 2003, it is apparent that 36% of online sales36% of the total sales were generated by the travel sectortravel sector related, which was the largest share of online salesmajor online sale of the year. However, in 2013, the sector's share fell by seven percentage pointsa drop of 7% resulted in the same sector which became the second-largest sharesecond biggest portion of total online sales. The second major sector in 2003 was clothes, which accounted for 24% of overall sales. A decrease of 8% could be seen in clothes in 2013.
Film and music accounted for the third-largest sharemade the third largest portion of the overall sales in 2003 (21%) whereas in 2013whereas, in 2013, the share rose by 12 percentage points to 33%the figure rose to 33% which became the largest categorysuccessfully hit the highest sales. A relatively small portion of online sales was for books (19%) in 2003 which was slightly lower than that in 2013 (22%).
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its complete and accurate numerical coverage: all four sectors are reported for both years, and the ranking changes are easy to follow. The main limitation is an overview that names the two largest sectors without clearly stating that leadership shifted from travel to film and music or summarising which categories rose and fell. Prioritise a sharper trend-based overview and more natural comparison language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All sector figures and rank changes are accurately covered, although the overview only partly synthesises the main movements.
State explicitly that film and music overtook travel while books rose and clothes fell.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is clearly organised into an overview and two focused detail paragraphs with logical progression.
Use contrast markers more precisely so each transition directly signals an increase, decrease, or change in rank.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for proportions and rankings, but several collocations such as made the third largest portion are awkward.
Use natural chart phrases such as accounted for, rose to become the largest sector, and fell by seven percentage points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex comparison structures is used, though awkward relative clauses, punctuation, and tense choices remain noticeable.
Keep the past tense consistent and revise relative clauses so each percentage change has a clear grammatical subject.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.