The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The maps illustrate an industrial area in the town of Norbiton and the developments that are planned to be carried out in the future. Overall, the space will undergo some noticeable changes, namely the addition of shops, a medical centre, houses and other essential amenities.
At present, the area is mostly occupied by factories, built all around the roundabout and on the east side of the site. On the north side of the river, a small areariver a small area is used as farmland.
After a major redesign, the factories will be demolished and a large portion of the space will be occupied by housing. On the eastern edge of the area, plans show a schoolOn the east side of the area it is planned to build a school along with a playground toon the south of the river. On the south-west side of the roundabout shops will replace the factory.the factory will be converted into shops. On the opposite side of the road will be a medical centre. Another small roundabout will be added southward, which will be directly connected to the main roundabout.
In addition, a bridge will be built across the river, which will connect the south with the north side of the industrial site. On the north side of the river, the farmlandriver the farmland will be confined to the north-eastrelocated to the north-east side and its place will be occupied by housing.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents an exceptionally clear overview and thorough comparison of the visual information, accurately describing all key changes between the current and proposed maps. The information is logically structured with appropriate spatial language and cohesive devices throughout. To reach the highest possible standard, the writing could incorporate even more varied prepositional phrases and sentence structures when detailing complex geographical layouts.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The essay provides a well-developed summary and accurately describes all major features and developments shown in both maps.
Ensure every spatial detail, such as the exact placement of the new residential road access, is described with maximum precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically into well-defined paragraphs with clear, natural progression across current and future plans.
Vary cohesive transitions slightly more across paragraph starters to avoid over-relying on basic temporal markers.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary appropriate for describing map transformations is used flexibly and accurately.
Incorporate additional precise spatial vocabulary, such as directional adverbs and compound locational phrases, to elevate sophistication further.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence patterns and passive forms is used with consistently high accuracy.
Maintain complete precision with prepositions of place, such as choosing between in the south and to the south.