The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA
Sample Response
The pie charts illustrate the ratio of sodium, saturated fats and added sugar in four average daily meals consumed by Americans. The percentages of these three nutrients in breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks that American citizens generally consume are given and they are detrimental for health if consumed plenty in quantity. Overall, dinners and lunches that the USA residents consume are sodium and saturated fats rich while their snacks have a high portion of added sugar. In details, USA citizens' sodium, sugar and saturated fats intake during the breakfast is comparatively lower, around 14-16% each time. Intake of these nutrients is considerably higher in food items they eat during lunch and dinner. The lunch they eat comprises of 29% sodium, 26% saturated fats and nearly 20% sugar. They consume much higher percentages of these nutrients, which are harmful to health when eaten too much, while they heave their dinner. Their intake of sodium, saturated fats and sugar during dinner are 43%, 37% and 23% respectively. Finally, the snacks they enjoy contain high sugar and fats, 42% and 21%, respectively, and the sugar intake in snacks is higher than that of dinner and lunch.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart terminology Original: ratio Suggested revision: proportions Why it matters: The charts show proportions rather than a single mathematical ratio.
- 2. Use natural demonym Original: the USA residents Suggested revision: US residents Why it matters: This is the natural concise term for people living in the United States.
- 3. Fix adjective structure Original: saturated fats rich Suggested revision: rich in saturated fat Why it matters: The adjective phrase requires the preposition “in” and the nutrient name is uncountable here.
- 4. Fix linking phrase Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The fixed transition is “in detail,” not “in details.”
- 5. Fix noun phrase Original: sodium, sugar and saturated fats intake Suggested revision: intake of sodium, added sugar and saturated fat Why it matters: Use “intake of” to coordinate the three nutrient names correctly.
- 6. Fix meal preposition Original: during the breakfast Suggested revision: at breakfast Why it matters: Meal names normally take “at” and no article in this context.
- 7. Clarify chart reference Original: around 14-16% each time Suggested revision: between 14% and 16% in each chart Why it matters: The percentages refer to three charts, not repeated occasions.
- 8. Use concise phrasing Original: food items they eat during lunch and dinner Suggested revision: meals eaten at lunch and dinner Why it matters: This expresses the meal categories more directly and naturally.
- 9. Remove wrong preposition Original: comprises of Suggested revision: comprises Why it matters: “Comprise” takes a direct object and is not followed by “of.”
- 10. Report exact value Original: nearly 20% sugar Suggested revision: 19% added sugar Why it matters: The chart gives 19% for added sugar at lunch.
- 11. Name nutrients precisely Original: saturated fats and sugar during dinner Suggested revision: saturated fat and added sugar at dinner Why it matters: These forms match the nutrient labels and use the natural meal preposition.
- 12. Fix nutrient phrasing Original: contain high sugar and fats Suggested revision: contain high proportions of added sugar and saturated fat Why it matters: The chart reports proportions of specific nutrients, not generally “high sugar and fats.”
Suggested Rewrites
- ratio proportions
- the USA residents US residents
- saturated fats rich rich in saturated fat
- details detail
- sodium, sugar and saturated fats intake intake of sodium, added sugar and saturated fat
- during the breakfast at breakfast
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and reports nearly all major figures accurately, with especially effective coverage of lunch and dinner. Its main weakness is recurring awkward or inaccurate phrasing, while the data description also omits the 14% sodium share for snacks and overstates their fat content. Prioritise precise comparisons and more natural grammatical constructions so the accurate visual reading is expressed consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate figures cover the main patterns, but snack sodium is omitted and its saturated-fat level is overstated.
Include the missing 14% sodium figure for snacks and compare each nutrient only where the chart supports the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks, although some linking is mechanical.
Group the details by the strongest nutrient patterns and use smoother transitions than formulaic phrases such as “In details”.
Lexical Resource
The response uses relevant nutrient vocabulary, but frequent collocational problems such as “consumed plenty in quantity” and “comprises of” reduce precision.
Use standard data-reporting combinations such as “accounts for,” “is consumed in,” and “is rich in” accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the comparisons, but article, agreement, and preposition errors recur throughout.
Check subject-verb agreement and article use, especially in phrases describing intake at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.