The charts below qive information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 7–8)
Same-task comparison

This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?

Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.

  • Closest to official scores
  • What to fix on each criterion
  • Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Start writing this task

Sample Response

1

The pie charts depictdepicts the proportion of different age groups inage group of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050.

2

Overall, Deleteit is obvious that in both countries, the proportion of people aged 60 and over is projected to witness an upward trend, while thatthose of the 0-14 age bracket will decrease. In Yemen, working-age people between 15 and 59 is projected to accountwill account for the largest proportion, whereas in Italy the percentage of those aged 15 to 59 will remain the largest demographic at 46.2%senior citizens over 60 will be the largest age group.

3

In Yemen, people aged 0-14 made up 50.1% of the population in 2000took up 50.1%, a figure expected to drop towith its proportion decreasing to 37.0% by 2050. The proportion of the 15-59 age bracket was 46.3%, which is expected to rise to 57.3% in 2050. MeanwhileBesides, in 2000 and 2050, those aged 60 and overadolescents under 14 account for the smallest proportion at 3.6% and 5.7% respectively.

4

When it comes to Italy, only the proportionportion of people over 60 is forecast to increase from 24.1% to 42.3%. While people aged between 15 and 59 and those under 14 constituted 61.6% and 14.3% of the total age breakdown in 2000, these figures are predicted to decline to 46.2% and 11.5% respectively.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response effectively highlights main trends and details across both countries, supported by a clear overview and logical paragraphing structure. However, there is a prominent data inaccuracy in the details for Yemen, where the 60+ age group's figures were misattributed to adolescents under 14. To improve, ensure meticulous checking of chart keys against specific percentage values to prevent misidentifying age brackets.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.0
Scoring rule

The essay presents a clear overview and key trends, but misidentifies the 3.6% and 5.7% figures for Yemen's 60+ age group as adolescents.

Next step

Double-check category labels against the legend to ensure every percentage is attributed to the correct demographic group.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs for each country, making progression smooth and clear throughout.

Next step

Vary cohesive markers slightly to avoid repeating similar transitional phrases when introducing data points.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

A good range of vocabulary is used flexibly to describe proportions, age categories, and future predictions.

Next step

Ensure precise word choices when defining age brackets, avoiding inappropriate descriptors like calling older demographics adolescents.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

A variety of complex structures are produced with generally good grammatical control and correct tense usage.

Next step

Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, such as matching plural subjects with plural verb forms.