The table below gives information about the rail transport in five countries in 2015.
Sample Response
The table gives five selected country’s railway related information which includes the percentages of railway users, the distance they travelled on an average and the amount of weight the railways carried in 2015. Overall, Chinese and Indian people used train transportation more and Canada transported the highest amount of cargos on railroads. As can be seen on the table, Canada carried by far the highest cargo, more than 34 billion tons, despite the fact that the railway was less popular among Canadians as only 0.9 million people used it with 90 kilometer distance per passenger in 2015. This contrasted greatly with China where exactly 34 million people used railroad and each person travelled roughly 2200 km distance on the train. Rail journey was the second most popular in India as 21 million people used it in 2015 with an average of nearly 1500 km travel log for each passenger. Two countries which were almost similar in terms of their railway usage were Malaysia and the UAE. In both in these countries around 800 passenger km was travelled in 2015 while they had 8 -9 million passengers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix plural possessive Original: five selected country’s Suggested revision: five selected countries’ Why it matters: The information belongs to five plural countries, so the plural possessive form is required.
- 2. Hyphenate compound adjective Original: railway related Suggested revision: railway-related Why it matters: A compound adjective before a noun should be hyphenated.
- 3. Correct the measure Original: percentages of railway users Suggested revision: numbers of rail users Why it matters: The table reports users in millions, not percentages.
- 4. Use fixed phrase Original: travelled on an average Suggested revision: travelled on average Why it matters: The standard adverbial expression is ‘on average’ without an article.
- 5. Use freight terminology Original: amount of weight the railways carried Suggested revision: amount of freight carried by rail Why it matters: ‘Freight carried by rail’ is the natural term for this measure.
- 6. State the ranking clearly Original: Chinese and Indian people used train transportation more Suggested revision: China and India had the largest numbers of rail users Why it matters: The table ranks absolute user totals rather than how frequently individuals used trains.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: amount of cargos Suggested revision: volume of cargo Why it matters: ‘Cargo’ is uncountable in this context and is measured by volume or weight.
- 8. Use concise transport phrase Original: on railroads Suggested revision: by rail Why it matters: ‘By rail’ is the standard concise phrase for this mode of transport.
- 9. Use correct preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Information is presented ‘in’ a table, not ‘on’ it.
- 10. Name the quantity Original: highest cargo Suggested revision: largest volume of freight Why it matters: ‘Cargo’ itself cannot be high; the measured quantity is its volume or weight.
- 11. Avoid unsupported inference Original: the railway was less popular among Canadians Suggested revision: Canada had the fewest rail users Why it matters: The table shows a low absolute user count but provides no population share from which to infer popularity.
- 12. Use the stated unit Original: with 90 kilometer distance per passenger Suggested revision: and recorded 90 passenger-kilometres per head Why it matters: The column measures passenger-kilometres per head of population rather than distance per passenger.
Suggested Rewrites
- five selected country’s five selected countries’
- railway related railway-related
- percentages of railway users numbers of rail users
- travelled on an average travelled on average
- amount of weight the railways carried amount of freight carried by rail
- Chinese and Indian people used train transportation more China and India had the largest numbers of rail users
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly identifies the leading passenger markets and Canada’s exceptional cargo figure, and most selected numbers match the table closely. Its main limitation is uneven coverage: cargo data for the other four countries is virtually omitted, while units are occasionally mislabeled as percentages or expressed awkwardly. Prioritise balanced comparison of all three measures, using the table’s exact units and grouping countries by notable highs, lows, and similarities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate passenger comparisons address the task, but the cargo measure is represented almost entirely by Canada alone.
Compare Canada’s 34.2 billion tonnes with the other four cargo figures and state that rail users are measured in millions, not percentages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information moves logically from the overview to Canada, China, India, Malaysia, and the UAE, although the single-paragraph format limits grouping.
Separate the overview and organise details into one paragraph for passenger use and distance and another for cargo comparisons.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for comparison, but awkward or inaccurate expressions such as ‘cargos’, ‘travel log’, and ‘passenger km was travelled’ recur.
Use precise terms such as ‘cargo’, ‘average passenger-kilometres per person’, and ‘million rail users’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses several complex structures, but possessive, article, preposition, number, and agreement errors are frequent though meaning remains clear.
Revise noun phrases and agreement, especially ‘five selected countries’, ‘on average’, ‘90 kilometres’, and ‘in both countries’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about the rail transport in five countries in 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.