The table below gives information about rail transport in four countries in 2007.
Sample Response
The given table data shows the railway route, passenger number and cargo goods carried in Malaysia, Canada, China and UAE in the year 2007. As is observed from the data, Chinese people used the railway system more than the people of other countries but the cargoes carried more goods in Canada among the given countries. According to the data, 27 million people used rail transports (excluding metro) in China compared to the just 5-6 million railway users in UAE and Malaysia. Only 0.3 million Canadian people used railway transportations in 2007, which was least among the given four countries. The distance passed by passengers who used railway in these four countries was similar to the data provided for the railway passengers in these four countries for the year 2007. Around two thousand km were passed by Chinese people compared to the less than eight hundred km in UAE and Malaysia. As only 0.3 million Canadian people used railway in 2007, the distance passed by each passenger was only 80 km which was the least among the figure given for four countries. Interestingly, the cargos that transported goods carried the highest amount in Canada (over 28 tonnes) though the passengers used railway system lesser than other countries. On an average, all of the given four countries had an average of 21- 28 billion tonnes goods carried through the railway system. In summary, Chinese people used the railway more than the people of other country and cargo carried more goods in Canada among the given countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong measure Original: railway route Suggested revision: rail passenger kilometres Why it matters: The table does not give railway routes; it gives passenger kilometres per head.
- 2. Redundant phrase Original: cargo goods carried Suggested revision: cargo carried Why it matters: Cargo already means goods transported.
- 3. Wrong subject Original: cargoes carried more goods in Canada Suggested revision: the largest amount of cargo was carried in Canada Why it matters: Cargo does not carry goods; goods are cargo.
- 4. Uncountable noun Original: rail transports Suggested revision: rail transport Why it matters: Transport is usually uncountable in this context.
- 5. Article error Original: the just 5-6 million railway users Suggested revision: just 5-6 million railway users Why it matters: The article the is not needed before just.
- 6. Wrong plural Original: railway transportations Suggested revision: rail transport Why it matters: Transportation is not used as a countable plural here.
- 7. Wrong term Original: The distance passed by passengers Suggested revision: Passenger kilometres per head Why it matters: The column is not total distance passed by passengers.
- 8. Awkward wording Original: Around two thousand km were passed by Chinese people Suggested revision: China recorded around 1,980 passenger kilometres per head Why it matters: This uses the table heading accurately.
- 9. Plural phrase Original: among the figure given for four countries Suggested revision: among the figures given for the four countries Why it matters: Figures should be plural and four countries needs the article.
- 10. Unit accuracy Original: over 28 tonnes Suggested revision: 28.2 billion tons Why it matters: The table gives cargo in billions of tons, not simple tonnes.
- 11. Comparison form Original: passengers used railway system lesser than other countries Suggested revision: passengers used the railway system less than in other countries Why it matters: Use less, not lesser, and add the article.
- 12. Unit and spacing Original: 21- 28 billion tonnes goods Suggested revision: 21.9 to 28.2 billion tons of goods Why it matters: This matches the range and unit more clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- railway route rail passenger kilometres
- cargo goods carried cargo carried
- cargoes carried more goods in Canada the largest amount of cargo was carried in Canada
- rail transports rail transport
- the just 5-6 million railway users just 5-6 million railway users
- railway transportations rail transport
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response reports all three measures and identifies the main contrasts: China had the most rail users and passenger kilometres, while Canada carried the most cargo. Some units and interpretations are inaccurate, especially cargo, which is in billions of tons, and passenger kilometres per head, which is not total distance travelled by all passengers.
Use the table headings precisely and compare countries by each column without changing the units.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear overview and a logical movement through passengers, passenger kilometres, and cargo, but the report is one dense paragraph after the introduction and repeats the summary at the end.
Use separate paragraphs for passenger use and cargo, and remove repeated concluding wording.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for table description, but there are unnatural phrases such as cargoes carried more goods and distance passed by passengers.
Use precise terms: rail users, passenger kilometres per head, cargo carried, billion tons, highest, lowest, and similar.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors with articles, plurals, comparatives, and passive forms affect fluency, though most meaning remains understandable.
Check singular and plural forms such as transport, cargo, countries, and figures, and simplify long sentences.