The maps show a road system as it is now and the propesed changes in future to reduce the number of accidents.
Sample Response
The maps provide information about a current road system and proposed changes to increase the safety of its users.
Overall, the main changes being proposed include a major roundabout, the installation of several sets of traffic lights, and some restructuring of existing roadways.
The intersection of City Road and Low Lane is one of the four areas where frequent accidents occur in the area and is proposed to have a set of traffic lights installed to minimise such occurrences. The intersection of City Road and Forest Road is also another accident prone area and is the site of a proposed roundabout.
Other accident prone areas are at the supermarket access road on City Road, and at the intersection of Low Lane and Forest Road. The supermarket access is planned to be moved to be a part of the roundabout, while Low Lane will be straightened in order to avoid accidents there.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use definite article Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The maps show one specific road system, so the definite article is appropriate.
- 2. Specify the location Original: major Suggested revision: central Why it matters: The proposed roundabout occupies the central junction shown in the future map.
- 3. Give the exact number Original: several Suggested revision: four Why it matters: The proposed map shows four traffic-light installations, so the exact number is more informative.
- 4. Name the road changes Original: some restructuring of existing roadways Suggested revision: the straightening of Low Lane and relocation of the supermarket access Why it matters: Naming the two visible alterations makes the overview more specific and informative.
- 5. Remove repetition Original: areas where frequent accidents occur in the area Suggested revision: locations where frequent accidents occur Why it matters: The repeated use of area is unnecessary and makes the clause wordy.
- 6. Fix redundancy and hyphen Original: also another accident prone area Suggested revision: another accident-prone area Why it matters: Also and another duplicate the same meaning, and accident-prone needs a hyphen before a noun.
- 7. Hyphenate compound adjective Original: Other accident prone areas Suggested revision: Other accident-prone areas Why it matters: The compound adjective accident-prone requires a hyphen before areas.
- 8. Make wording concise Original: to be moved to be a part of Suggested revision: to be moved to become part of Why it matters: This removes the repeated infinitive and expresses the relocation more directly.
- 9. Use precise purpose Original: in order to avoid accidents there Suggested revision: to reduce accidents there Why it matters: The map proposes reducing accidents, while avoid suggests they will be eliminated entirely.
- 10. Locate all traffic lights Suggested revision: State where all four proposed sets of traffic lights will be installed, since the detail paragraphs identify only one location. Why it matters: The future map shows four installations, but most of their positions are omitted from the detailed description.
Suggested Rewrites
- a the
- major central
- several four
- some restructuring of existing roadways the straightening of Low Lane and relocation of the supermarket access
- areas where frequent accidents occur in the area locations where frequent accidents occur
- also another accident prone area another accident-prone area
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is concise, clearly organised, and accurately captures the principal redesign: the roundabout, traffic lights, the realigned Low Lane, and the relocated supermarket access. Its main limitation is that the traffic-light arrangement and some road changes are described only generally. The highest-priority improvement is to specify where the multiple lights will be installed and relate each change more explicitly to the current accident points.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and body cover nearly all major proposed changes accurately, although the multiple traffic-light locations are not fully detailed.
State that several sets of lights are planned around the City Road-Low Lane area and describe their positions more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is logical, with a clear overview followed by well-grouped details about the accident sites and proposed changes.
Link each current accident location directly to its corresponding future modification for an even sharper comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and appropriately varied, including effective terms such as 'restructuring', 'installed', and 'straightened'.
Refine minor phrasing by avoiding repetition in expressions such as 'areas where frequent accidents occur in the area'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with good control, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Edit long relative-clause sentences for concision and hyphenate compound modifiers such as 'accident-prone'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The maps show a road system as it is now and the propesed changes in future to reduce the number of accidents.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.