Sample Response
The given illustration depicts the changes inof demographic trends over seven decades in Scotland and also gives the projection for 2020the prediction for the year 2020. The data coverThe survey has been taken from 1940 to 20202010 on three indicators:criteria, namely: birth, population growth, and death.
Initially, fertility and mortality reached their peakshave reached their peak in 1940, whilewhiles population growth reached its highest percentage in the mid-1950sin the second decade. The birth rate was about 2.5%It was about 2.5% birth rate in 1940 and then it declined sharply over five years. After a further decline, it fluctuated for roughly twenty yearsfluctuated roughly twenty years. There was a peak in 2000 after falling gradually from the 1960s1960's by roughly 1.0%. It predicted that about 0.5% fertility in 2020.
The chart shows that there is a relationship between fertility and population growth in their trendsrelationship between fertility and population growth by its trend. The dip, peak, and fluctuation are shown in the same decade, during whichin which, the percentage of population growth was always lowerpopulation growth always lower. On the other hand, itit’s declined sharply and reached zero growthreached to zero growth in the 2000sin 2000's so that could not be predicted for 2020. The death rate went down steadily from 1940 to 1950s and then levelled off till 1970s by roughly 0.5%. After fallingfelt slightly in the last 1970s, it remained the same over the following thirty years. However, its number will rise in 2020 by over 0.5%.
In short, the trends of three categories are decreasing over seven decades and only the mortality rate is expected to be increased in 2020.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response recognises the broad long-term decline in all three rates and the projected recovery in mortality, and it attempts to relate births to population growth. However, several trend descriptions are inaccurate or difficult to interpret, especially the claimed birth-rate peak in 2000, while frequent grammatical errors weaken clarity. Prioritise a data-accurate chronological account of each line, supported by correctly dated peaks and endpoints.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and several main movements are presented, but the birth-rate chronology contains a significant error and some key comparisons are only loosely described.
Anchor each series to its real landmarks, including the birth-rate high in 1940, population-growth peak around 1955, and projected death-rate rise by 2020.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the series and overview, but unclear pronouns and loosely connected trend statements sometimes interrupt progression.
Give each rate a clear subject and organise its changes from earliest to latest rather than switching between unnamed trends.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a fair range of demographic and trend vocabulary, though words such as "criteria," "survey," and "number" are imprecise for the plotted rates.
Use exact terms such as "birth rate," "population growth rate," "death rate," "declined," and "levelled off."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent tense, agreement, clause, and verb-form errors sometimes make sentences hard to follow.
Build complete clauses with consistent past tense, for example "the rate fell slightly in the late 1970s and then remained stable."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The figure shows demographic trends in Scotland.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.