The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Sample Response
The diagrams describe the life cycle of silkworm and also illustrate the procedure of silk cloth production. As is presented in the first picture life cycle of silkworm begins with eggs laid by mother worm. Silkworm eggs transform into the shape of silkworm larva after around 10 days. Then the second process starts, and in this stage larva usually, eat leaves like mulberry leaves in order to grow up. Food process lasts 4 to 6 weeks. Larva generates silk threads shells at the end of the second stage. The third stage begins when silk thread shells create cocoons, this process usually lasts for 3 to 8 days. In the final stage, cocoons transform into moths after 16 days. And moths grow up and recycle whole procedure step by step. As is observed from the second picture, which describes the producing of silk cloth from silkworm, total stages of silk cloth production are five. Initially, in the first stage, silk thread shells are selected and boiled into hot water. Shells are unwinded properly and unwinded shells are exactly 300 to 900m long. Then threads are twisted and dyed in dyers. And finally, those silks are weaved and again dyed. The process of twist and dry, weave and dry possibly repeated if it is necessary to produce high-quality silk cloth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article Original: life cycle of silkworm Suggested revision: the life cycle of the silkworm Why it matters: Both nouns need appropriate articles.
- 2. Add punctuation Original: first picture life cycle Suggested revision: first picture, the life cycle Why it matters: An introductory phrase needs a comma and the noun needs an article.
- 3. Use diagram label Original: mother worm Suggested revision: moth Why it matters: The diagram labels the adult stage as a moth.
- 4. Use hatch Original: transform into the shape of silkworm larva Suggested revision: hatch into silkworm larvae Why it matters: Hatch accurately describes eggs producing larvae.
- 5. Agreement and comma Original: larva usually, eat Suggested revision: the larvae usually eat Why it matters: Use a plural subject and remove the misplaced comma.
- 6. Natural process term Original: Food process Suggested revision: The feeding stage Why it matters: Food process is not an appropriate collocation.
- 7. Correct feature Original: silk threads shells Suggested revision: silk thread Why it matters: The larva spins thread before forming a cocoon.
- 8. Correct sequence Original: shells create cocoons Suggested revision: the larva spins silk thread to form a cocoon Why it matters: The original reverses the relationship shown.
- 9. Formal transition Original: And moths grow up Suggested revision: The moths then lay eggs Why it matters: This states the link back to the first stage.
- 10. Describe cycle Original: recycle whole procedure Suggested revision: begin the cycle again Why it matters: Recycle is not used for a biological life cycle here.
- 11. Use noun form Original: the producing of silk cloth Suggested revision: the production of silk cloth Why it matters: Production is the correct noun.
- 12. Irregular participle Original: unwinded Suggested revision: unwound Why it matters: The past participle of unwind is unwound.
Suggested Rewrites
- life cycle of silkworm the life cycle of the silkworm
- first picture life cycle first picture, the life cycle
- mother worm moth
- transform into the shape of silkworm larva hatch into silkworm larvae
- larva usually, eat the larvae usually eat
- Food process The feeding stage
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both diagrams and reports the principal timings and production sequence, so the overall process is understandable. However, it lacks a concise overview, misstates how the cocoon forms, and repeatedly uses inaccurate process vocabulary such as shells, dry, and dyers. The highest-priority improvement is to describe each stage with precise passive verbs and clearly distinguish the cyclical life cycle from the linear cloth-production process.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
Most stages and timings are included, but the overview is weak and several biological and production relationships are inaccurately expressed.
State the cyclical versus linear structures first, then report every stage in the diagram without adding unsupported interpretation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows the diagrams in sequence, but it is a single dense paragraph and uses repetitive stage markers.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview, life cycle, and silk production.
Lexical Resource
There is enough process vocabulary to communicate meaning, but frequent wrong collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use hatch, feed on, spin thread, form a cocoon, unwind, twist, dye, and weave.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but article, agreement, punctuation, passive-form, and participle errors are frequent.
Build short passive process sentences and proofread subject-verb agreement.