The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Sample Response
The diagrams illustrate the life cycle process of the silkworm as well as various steps in making of silk cloth.
Overall, the life cycle of silkworm has four major stages which begin with eggs and end with cocoon. Similarly, there are four main steps in the production of silk cloth commencing with boiling into the water and ending with dying process. Initially, the life cycle of silkworms starts with eggs which are laid by bees on the mulberry leaves. After this stage of the cycle, it becomes silkworm larva on mulberry leaves. It is then developed into silk thread within 4 to 6 weeks. After the last main stage of the life cycle, it is transformed into cocoons, which is necessary to make a silk cloth. In the production of silk cloths, selected cocoons are boiled into the water. Unwinding is in the second process in which 300 to 900 mm threads are produced. Eventually, it is then twisted which is helpful for making waves. Finally, the wave is ready for dye process in any colour for the final production of silk clothes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: life cycle process Suggested revision: life cycle Why it matters: A life cycle is already a process, so the extra word is redundant.
- 2. Fix noun phrase Original: in making of silk cloth Suggested revision: in the production of silk cloth Why it matters: The phrase needs a complete and natural noun structure.
- 3. Correct the agent Original: eggs which are laid by bees Suggested revision: eggs laid by moths Why it matters: The diagram shows that moths, not bees, lay the eggs.
- 4. Fix number and subject Original: it becomes silkworm larva Suggested revision: they hatch into silkworm larvae Why it matters: The plural eggs require a plural reference and the correct developmental verb.
- 5. Correct the process Original: It is then developed into silk thread Suggested revision: The larvae then produce silk thread Why it matters: The larvae produce thread rather than developing into thread.
- 6. Correct the duration Original: within Suggested revision: over Why it matters: The diagram indicates that thread production takes this length of time.
- 7. Correct the stage Original: it is transformed into cocoons Suggested revision: the larvae form cocoons Why it matters: The diagram shows larvae forming cocoons rather than being transformed into them.
- 8. Fix agreement Original: which is necessary to make a silk cloth Suggested revision: which are necessary to make silk cloth Why it matters: The relative clause refers to plural cocoons, and cloth is uncountable here.
- 9. Use uncountable noun Original: cloths Suggested revision: cloth Why it matters: Cloth is used as an uncountable material noun in this context.
- 10. Fix preposition Original: boiled into the water Suggested revision: boiled in water Why it matters: Materials are boiled in water, not into it.
- 11. Fix stage wording Original: Unwinding is in the second process Suggested revision: Unwinding is the second stage Why it matters: The original construction does not identify the stage grammatically.
- 12. Correct the unit Original: mm Suggested revision: m Why it matters: The diagram gives the thread length in metres, not millimetres.
Suggested Rewrites
- life cycle process life cycle
- in making of silk cloth in the production of silk cloth
- eggs which are laid by bees eggs laid by moths
- it becomes silkworm larva they hatch into silkworm larvae
- It is then developed into silk thread The larvae then produce silk thread
- within over
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a recognizable overview and follows the general order of both processes, which makes the intended sequence easy to follow. Its main limitation is substantial visual inaccuracy: the moth stage is omitted, bees are wrongly said to lay the eggs, and the silk-production stages, thread length, weaving, and dyeing are misreported. The priority is to verify every labelled stage and measurement against both diagrams before describing them.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the broad topic and some stages, but its overview and details contain major omissions and inaccuracies across both diagrams.
Include every main stage in the correct order and check agents, timings, units, weaving, and dyeing directly against the visuals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two processes progress in a generally understandable sequence, although the single body paragraph and mechanical links weaken organization.
Use one focused paragraph for each diagram and connect stages with precise sequencing rather than repeated generic transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient process vocabulary to convey the basic account, but inaccurate choices such as “dying,” “waves,” and “boiled into” reduce precision.
Use the exact process terms from the diagrams, especially “dyeing,” “weaving,” “unwind,” and “boiled in water.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and passive structures is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, and clause formation limit control.
Practise accurate passive process sentences and check articles, singular-plural agreement, and prepositions in every stage description.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.