The graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in Someland from 1960 to 2000.
Sample Response
The line graph presents data on the male and female smoking rates per 1,000 peoplemale and female smokers per thousand people in Someland from 1960 to 2000. OverallAs an overall trend, Deleteit is obvious that the male smoking raterate of male smoker decreased over time whiledecreased over the time while the female smoking rate increasedfemale smokers’ rate increase in the periodgiven period of time. According to the graphAccording to the given line graph, the male smoking rateratio of male smokers in Someland was much higher than the female ratethat of females in 1960. 600 men out of 1000, smoked in this year while the ratio of women smokers was less than 100 per thousand. However, the male smoking ratemale smokers’ percentage decreased steadily over timekept on decreasing steadily over the time and the female rate initially followed the opposite trendan opposite trend could be observed among the women. After 20 years the percentages or male and female smoker in Someland were 48% and 31% respectively. Finally, in 2000, the male and female smoking ratespercentages of male and female smokers became almost the same. In 2000, the male smokers’ ratio was 20%, which was a significant decline in the ratio of the male smoker, while it was 20% for women, which shows that the percentage of female ration doubled in 40 years.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the broad contrast between declining male smoking and rising female smoking and supports this with several time-point figures. Its main limitation is visual accuracy: it misses the women’s mid-period peak and later fall, reports both 2000 rates as 20%, and says the female rate merely doubled. Cross-check every stated figure against the graph and keep the unit consistently as smokers per 1,000.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several relevant figures address the task, but the women’s later decline and some endpoint values are inaccurate.
Describe the female peak around 1975–1980 and verify that the 2000 rates are about 250 for men and 200 for women per 1,000.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses from the overview to early, middle, and final values, although it is presented as one dense paragraph with some repetition.
Separate the overview from the detailed chronology and group comparisons so each stage of the period is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for trends and comparisons, but repeated imprecise choices such as “ratio,” “percentage,” and “female ration” reduce accuracy.
Use consistent graph language such as “rate,” “smokers per 1,000,” “rose,” “peaked,” and “declined.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but agreement, plural, tense, and punctuation errors recur.
Proofread subject–verb agreement and noun forms, especially “male smokers,” “the rate decreased,” and “the female rate increased.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in Someland from 1960 to 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.