The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics.
Sample Response
A glance at four indicators of economic and social conditions in four countries, Canada, Japan, Peru and Zaire, in 1994 reflects the great differences that exist between wealthier and poorer nations. The table shows that Japan and Canada had annual incomes of $15 760 and $11 100 per person, respectively. These figures were overwhelmingly greater than the corresponding figures of $160 in Peru and $130 in Zaire. Health indicators, too, reflected overall levels of affluence in the four nations. Life expectancy at birth, for example, was higher among the more economically developed countries. Japan reported the highest life expectancy, 78. This was followed by Canada, 76; Peru, 51; and Zaire, 47. This suggests that richer societies are able to put more money into health care than poorer ones. The amount of calories consumed daily per person roughly followed the same ranking. Canadians each consumed some 3 326 calories per day while the Japanese took 2846 calories. The corresponding figures for Peru and Zaire were 1927 and 1749, respectively. Literacy rates among adults, too, were higher in wealthier countries, no doubt a reflection of ability to invest in education. Canada and Japan both reported literacy rates of 99%, while Peru claimed 68%. Zaire, the least economically developed of the four countries, had a literacy rate of 34%. The data appear to confirm the often cited link between national wealth and health and education standards.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise comparison Original: overwhelmingly greater Suggested revision: substantially higher Why it matters: Substantially higher is a more natural and precise expression for numerical differences.
- 2. Match the indicator Original: The amount of calories consumed daily per person Suggested revision: The daily calorie supply per person Why it matters: The table reports calorie supply rather than measured individual consumption.
- 3. Format large numbers Original: 1927 and 1749 Suggested revision: 1,927 and 1,749 Why it matters: Thousands separators make these four-digit values easier to read and match the surrounding presentation.
- 4. Remove unsupported cause Original: no doubt a reflection of ability to invest in education Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The table shows an association but provides no information about education investment.
- 5. Use neutral reporting Original: claimed Suggested revision: recorded Why it matters: Recorded is the appropriate neutral verb for a value shown in a statistical table.
- 6. Hyphenate the modifier Original: often cited Suggested revision: often-cited Why it matters: The compound modifier before link should be hyphenated.
- 7. Use parallel forms Original: education Suggested revision: educational Why it matters: Educational is the parallel adjective needed to modify standards alongside health.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: A glance at four indicators of economic and social conditions in four countries, Canada, Japan, Peru and Zaire, in 1994 reflects the great differences that exist between wealthier and poorer nations. Suggested revision: The table highlights substantial differences in four economic and social indicators among Canada, Japan, Peru and Zaire in 1994. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the illogical subject A glance and the repeated use of four countries.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: This suggests that richer societies are able to put more money into health care than poorer ones. Suggested revision: These figures show an association between higher income and longer life expectancy. Why it matters: The table supports a comparison between income and life expectancy but does not report health-care spending.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Canadians each consumed some 3 326 calories per day while the Japanese took 2846 calories. Suggested revision: Canada's daily calorie supply was 3,326 per person, compared with 2,846 in Japan. Why it matters: The indicator describes national per-person calorie supply rather than what individual citizens consumed.
Suggested Rewrites
- overwhelmingly greater substantially higher
- The amount of calories consumed daily per person The daily calorie supply per person
- 1927 and 1749 1,927 and 1,749
- no doubt a reflection of ability to invest in education Delete
- claimed recorded
- often cited often-cited
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response reports the table comprehensively and accurately, using precise comparisons and a broad, well-controlled vocabulary. Its main limitation is presentation as one long paragraph, compounded by causal explanations about healthcare and education that the table does not establish; prioritise separating the overview from grouped details and keeping conclusions strictly grounded in the displayed indicators.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All four indicators are accurately reported with a clear wealthier-versus-poorer overview, though the claims about investment in healthcare and education go beyond the data shown.
Retain the accurate comparisons but remove unsupported causal explanations and describe only the relationship visible among income, health, calorie, and literacy figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from income through health, calories, and literacy is logical, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens its visual organisation.
Use a separate overview paragraph and group the detailed comparisons into two focused body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise lexical range supports nuanced comparisons, with only occasional slightly overstated wording such as "overwhelmingly greater".
Use neutral quantitative phrasing such as "substantially higher" and avoid vocabulary that implies an interpretation beyond the table.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparative and explanatory structures are varied, accurate, and consistently easy to understand.
Maintain this control while shortening a few dense sentences so that the data comparisons remain as direct as possible.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.