The table gives information about the number of people working as researchers in technology per million people in five countries.
Sample Response
The table data compares the number of tech researchers per million population in five countries in five successive years commencing from 2003. Overall, Poland had a greater number of researchers per million citizens in technology while Togo had the least. Getting back to the details, Turkey had slightly less than 50 technology-related researchers in 2003 per million of its population which moderately increased each year and reached to over 100 in 2007. Poland had the largest proportion of tech researchers among these countries and 285 Polish were tech researchers per million people in 2003. However, over the time this number declined continuously and after 4 years it stood at 226 per million. Despite the drop, the ratio of researchers in Poland in 2007 was the highest and roughly double than that of Moldova and Tukey. Mexican tech researchers’ ratio in 2003 was 147 per million which increased to 242 two years later and dropped to 113 in 2007. Moldova had 103 of these professionals per million and in 4 years, this proportion reached to 114 with a decrease in the previous three years. The lowest ratio of tech researchers was in Togo where only 18 such professionals existed in 2003 in every million population and remained the same in 2007.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: table data Suggested revision: table Why it matters: “Table” alone identifies the source of the data.
- 2. Use natural measure Original: population Suggested revision: people Why it matters: The rate is conventionally expressed as a number per million people.
- 3. Vary linking words Original: in five countries in five successive years Suggested revision: across five countries over five successive years Why it matters: Using distinct prepositions makes the dimensions of place and time clearer.
- 4. Correct time phrase Original: commencing from 2003 Suggested revision: beginning in 2003 Why it matters: A period begins in a year rather than commences from it.
- 5. State the maximum Original: a greater number Suggested revision: the highest number Why it matters: Poland has the highest figure among all five countries throughout the table.
- 6. Clarify the group Original: citizens in technology Suggested revision: people working in technology Why it matters: The table concerns technology researchers, not citizens generally.
- 7. Use formal transition Original: Getting back to the details Suggested revision: In detail Why it matters: This is a more concise transition from the overview to the figures.
- 8. Reorder the measure Original: in 2003 per million of its population Suggested revision: per million people in 2003 Why it matters: Placing the rate before the year produces a clear and grammatical phrase.
- 9. Use precise trend verb Original: moderately increased each year Suggested revision: rose each year Why it matters: The simpler verb accurately describes the consistent annual rise.
- 10. Remove extra preposition Original: reached to over 100 Suggested revision: reached over 100 Why it matters: “Reach” takes its value directly without “to.”
- 11. Name the measure Original: largest proportion of tech researchers Suggested revision: highest number of tech researchers per million people Why it matters: The table reports a rate per million rather than each country’s proportion of researchers.
- 12. Fix noun reference Original: 285 Polish were tech researchers Suggested revision: there were 285 technology researchers Why it matters: “Polish” is not used as a countable noun for people in this construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- table data table
- population people
- in five countries in five successive years across five countries over five successive years
- commencing from 2003 beginning in 2003
- a greater number the highest number
- citizens in technology people working in technology
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers all five countries and identifies the broad extremes clearly, with a generally easy-to-follow country-by-country account. Its main limitation is data accuracy: Mexico's 2007 figure is 183, not 113, and Moldova did not decline throughout the previous three years. Check every reported value and describe fluctuating patterns precisely before refining the already adequate range of language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview and most major trends are relevant, but the incorrect Mexican endpoint and misleading account of Moldova weaken accuracy.
Verify each figure against the table and describe Mexico's peak and Moldova's fall-then-recovery pattern accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a coherent country-by-country sequence, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph limits structural clarity.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs, organising countries by rising, falling and fluctuating trends.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of trend and comparison vocabulary, although awkward collocations and repetition reduce precision.
Replace forms such as "reached to" and "double than" with "reached" and "roughly twice as high as."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are attempted, but recurring article, noun-form and comparative errors remain noticeable throughout.
Focus on accurate comparison patterns and noun phrases, for example "the number reached 106" and "285 Polish researchers per million people."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table gives information about the number of people working as researchers in technology per million people in five countries.
Your response
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