The pie charts below show the types of music media used from 1990 to 2010.
Sample Response
The given diagrams show how the music had been stored and listened to using different storage units in three different decades with a 10 years interval. As can be seen, CD dominated the music storage in the 90s while MP3 became the primary means of music recording in 2010. As is observed from the given illustration, Compact Disk (abbreviated as CD) was the most widely used storage type to save and retrieve songs in the 90s. In this year more than half of the music was stored and sold using this media. One-quarter use of Cassette for music enlisted it as the second most popular music media in this year while Vinyl Record was used to record the least percentages of music. After ten years, the scenario changed dramatically and Vinyl Record and cassette were no longer used. The CD consumed the whole market and its use increased remarkably to 95% for music. MP3 was introduced in this year but only 5% of its usage to store music reflects its scarcity at that time. Finally, in 2010, MP3, also known as Digital Audio, consumed the market of CD and 60% use of this media indicates its huge popularity in the 2010s. Interestingly the Vinyl Record was back in this decade with its 5% market share to store music while the CD was still the second popular music storage type though observed a significant decrease of its use compared to 10 years ago.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use simple past Original: had been stored Suggested revision: was stored Why it matters: The charts describe media use at completed past dates, so the simple past is appropriate.
- 2. Fix interval phrase Original: with a 10 years interval Suggested revision: at 10-year intervals Why it matters: The compound adjective is singular and the plural intervals matches the three dates.
- 3. Use exact chart year Original: in the 90s while Suggested revision: in 1990, while Why it matters: The first chart represents the single year 1990 rather than the whole decade.
- 4. Use media term Original: means of music recording Suggested revision: music medium Why it matters: The chart measures media used rather than methods of recording music.
- 5. Name year precisely Original: in the 90s. In this year Suggested revision: in 1990. In that year Why it matters: The visual provides data for 1990 only, so the decade label is too broad.
- 6. Avoid unsupported sales claim Original: stored and sold Suggested revision: accessed Why it matters: The chart reports media use and provides no information about music sales.
- 7. Use singular medium Original: media Suggested revision: medium Why it matters: Medium is the singular form required for one type of music media.
- 8. Build percentage clause Original: One-quarter use of Cassette for music Suggested revision: Cassette accounted for one quarter of music-media use Why it matters: The revision gives the proportion a complete and natural grammatical structure.
- 9. Use ranking verb Original: enlisted Suggested revision: made Why it matters: Enlisted does not mean placed in a ranking.
- 10. Use singular share Original: least percentages of music Suggested revision: smallest share of music use Why it matters: The chart shows one proportion for vinyl, so a singular share is required.
- 11. Match 95 percent Original: consumed the whole market Suggested revision: accounted for 95% of the market Why it matters: CD did not occupy the whole market because Digital Audio represented the remaining 5%.
- 12. Avoid unsupported introduction Original: MP3 was introduced in this year Suggested revision: Digital Audio accounted for 5% in 2000 Why it matters: The visual shows a 5% share but does not establish when the format was introduced.
Suggested Rewrites
- had been stored was stored
- with a 10 years interval at 10-year intervals
- in the 90s while in 1990, while
- means of music recording music medium
- in the 90s. In this year in 1990. In that year
- stored and sold accessed
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies the dominant format in each year and accurately reports nearly all important proportions, giving the reader a strong account of the shift from CDs to digital audio. Its main limitation is uneven language control and a dense single-paragraph presentation. The highest priority is to divide the chronological detail into clear paragraphs and replace awkward market and usage expressions with precise comparative wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate coverage of the principal proportions and changes address the visual very well.
Include the remaining key 2010 figure for CDs and avoid unsupported references to sales or recording.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account progresses logically from 1990 through 2010, although all information is compressed into one paragraph.
Separate the overview and the chronological details into distinct paragraphs to make comparisons easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but several collocations such as market consumption and percentage usage are unnatural.
Use precise combinations such as accounted for, represented, and market share when reporting proportions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but recurring article, number, agreement, and clause-control errors reduce accuracy.
Check noun phrases and clause subjects carefully, especially forms such as a ten-year interval and this medium.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show the types of music media used from 1990 to 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.