The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion.
Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates the expenditure of the UAE government from the national budget 315 billion AED in 2000. It also shows the segments of expenditure of the UAE administration in different sectors in the same year. At a first glance, it is crystal clear that biggest slice of the budget was devoted to social security, AED 100 billion. UAE spent 53 billion on health and personal social services followed by education with 38 billion. However, the least amount of budget was spent on the transportation system, AED 9 billion. Moving further, it is vivid that debt interest and other expenditure accounted for AED 23 billion of the budget. The expenditure of the UAE budget was 15 billion on housing heritage closely followed by industry, agriculture and employment with AED 13 billion. Overall, it can be deduced that the least amount of money was spent on transport while the highest amount on the social security by the UAE government in 2000.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct budget phrase Original: from the national budget 315 billion AED Suggested revision: from a total national budget of AED 315 billion Why it matters: The phrase needs 'of', and the currency abbreviation should precede the amount.
- 2. Use chart terminology Original: segments of expenditure Suggested revision: spending categories Why it matters: 'Spending categories' describes the labelled sectors more naturally.
- 3. Keep naming consistent Original: UAE administration Suggested revision: UAE government Why it matters: This matches the entity named in the task and avoids an unnecessary synonym.
- 4. Fix fixed phrase Original: At a first glance Suggested revision: At first glance Why it matters: The fixed expression does not take the article 'a'.
- 5. Use neutral register Original: it is crystal clear that Suggested revision: it is clear that Why it matters: The simpler wording is more appropriate for an objective chart description.
- 6. Express allocation clearly Original: devoted to social security, AED 100 billion Suggested revision: allocated to social security, at AED 100 billion Why it matters: 'Allocated to' and 'at' state the spending category and value precisely.
- 7. Add article and currency Original: UAE spent 53 billion Suggested revision: The UAE spent AED 53 billion Why it matters: The country abbreviation needs 'the', and the currency should be stated with the figure.
- 8. Clarify ranked amount Original: followed by education with 38 billion Suggested revision: followed by education at AED 38 billion Why it matters: 'At' correctly attaches the value to the second-ranked category.
- 9. Use allocation term Original: the least amount of budget Suggested revision: the smallest allocation Why it matters: 'Smallest allocation' is the natural term for the lowest spending category.
- 10. Match category label Original: transportation system Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: The chart labels this category simply as 'Transport'.
- 11. Use specific transition Original: Moving further Suggested revision: Turning to the remaining categories Why it matters: The replacement clearly signals a shift to the other spending figures.
- 12. Use natural reporting Original: it is vivid that Suggested revision: the chart shows that Why it matters: 'It is vivid that' is not natural wording for reporting chart data.
Suggested Rewrites
- from the national budget 315 billion AED from a total national budget of AED 315 billion
- segments of expenditure spending categories
- UAE administration UAE government
- At a first glance At first glance
- it is crystal clear that it is clear that
- devoted to social security, AED 100 billion allocated to social security, at AED 100 billion
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the largest and smallest allocations and accurately reports most of the chart’s figures. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes imprecise coverage: defence and law-and-order spending are omitted, while the two separate AED 23 billion categories are not clearly distinguished. Prioritise grouping and comparing all major allocations accurately before refining formulaic language and sentence control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The highest and lowest sectors are clearly identified and most figures are accurate, but defence and law and order are omitted and the two AED 23 billion categories are ambiguously combined.
Include the missing AED 22 billion and AED 17 billion sectors and state explicitly that debt interest and other expenditure each received AED 23 billion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description moves logically from major to smaller allocations, but it is presented as one paragraph and relies on mechanical transitions and a repeated overview.
Use an introduction, a concise overview, and grouped detail paragraphs that compare the largest allocations with the middle and smallest categories.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for expenditure comparisons, though formulaic phrases and inaccurate collocations such as ‘it is vivid’ and ‘housing heritage’ reduce precision.
Use direct chart language, including ‘the chart shows’, ‘the allocation for’, and the full label ‘housing, heritage and environment’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses several complex structures, but recurring article omissions and incomplete comparison constructions reduce grammatical accuracy.
Add required articles and complete passive clauses, for example ‘the biggest slice’ and ‘the highest amount was spent on social security’.
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