The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.
Sample Response
The chart illustrates the average returns of passengers using the various modes of transportation, cars, buses or trains in their day to day life in the United Kingdom over 60 years.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart the highest modal transport used by commuters was called and increased over the years from the initial stage, while bus and train had some significant changes after 2020.
To begin, in the UK majority of individuals approached the car for the purpose of travelling beginning at 5 million in 1970. While this ratio steadily failed in inclined by 2 million after the year 1980 and remained the same in the next ten years. Moreover, this value skyrocketed and hit its peak at 9 million commuters using the car in their daily routine in the final year. Therefore, the bus had a negative trend with shares at 4 million of travel using this transportation in 1970 and the ceiling trend got declined over the years and plummeted by below the 4 million after 30 years.
Afterwards, the value took a nosedive and touched the barrier of 3 million people travelling by bus in 2030.it is interesting to note that the situation got reversed in train category started with 2 million passenger travel by train in 1970 and this amount had nominal changes and rose by 1 million after 30 years and with no major changes in next ten years. Meanwhile, a sharp inclination had observed and touched the number of nearly 5 Million in 2030.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the measure Original: returns of passengers Suggested revision: number of commuters Why it matters: The vertical axis counts commuters rather than passenger returns.
- 2. Format the list Original: various modes of transportation, cars, buses or trains Suggested revision: three modes of transport: car, bus and train Why it matters: A colon clearly introduces the three categories, which should match the chart labels.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: in their day to day life Suggested revision: each day Why it matters: Each day states the frequency directly and avoids an informal expression.
- 4. Specify the period Original: over 60 years Suggested revision: over the 60-year period Why it matters: The definite period from 1970 to 2030 is best expressed with a compound adjective.
- 5. Correct noun phrase Original: in the UK majority of individuals Suggested revision: the majority of commuters in the UK Why it matters: The revised word order forms a grammatical subject and uses the population named by the chart.
- 6. Use correct transport phrase Original: approached the car for the purpose of travelling Suggested revision: travelled by car Why it matters: Approach a car does not mean use it as a mode of transport.
- 7. Attach the figure clearly Original: beginning at 5 million Suggested revision: with the figure beginning at about 5 million Why it matters: The original participle incorrectly appears to modify the commuters rather than the figure.
- 8. Avoid exaggeration Original: skyrocketed Suggested revision: rose steadily Why it matters: Car use increased over several decades and did not show a sudden vertical surge.
- 9. Complete the peak phrase Original: at 9 million commuters using the car Suggested revision: at about 9 million commuters Why it matters: The shorter complement correctly states the approximate peak shown in 2030.
- 10. Describe gradual decline Original: took a nosedive Suggested revision: declined gradually Why it matters: Bus use fell only modestly from around 4 million to around 3 million across the period.
- 11. Use neutral trend verb Original: touched the barrier of Suggested revision: reached Why it matters: Touched the barrier is inappropriate for reporting a plotted value.
- 12. Start new sentence Original: 2030.it is interesting Suggested revision: 2030. It is interesting Why it matters: A full stop must be followed by a capital letter to begin the next sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- returns of passengers number of commuters
- various modes of transportation, cars, buses or trains three modes of transport: car, bus and train
- in their day to day life each day
- over 60 years over the 60-year period
- in the UK majority of individuals the majority of commuters in the UK
- approached the car for the purpose of travelling travelled by car
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its coverage of all three transport modes with several broadly accurate starting and ending values. Its main limitation is that frequent awkward wording and grammatical breakdowns make trends difficult to follow, while the overview only partly captures the key patterns. Focus first on stating each mode’s direction and the train-bus crossover clearly in simple, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response reports the main endpoints for all modes, but the overview is incomplete and some descriptions of timing and change are inaccurate or unclear.
Give a precise overview that cars remain highest, buses decline, trains rise and overtake buses, then support it with correctly timed figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable introduction, overview, and detail sequence, but misused connectors and long, loosely joined sentences disrupt progression.
Group the rising modes and declining bus trend logically, using one clear comparison per sentence and only necessary linking words.
Lexical Resource
A range of trend vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inappropriate choices and collocations such as approached the car and ceiling trend often obscure meaning.
Prefer accurate, neutral terms such as commuters travelled by car, remained stable, declined gradually, and rose sharply.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some basic sentence patterns are controlled, but frequent errors in sentence boundaries, verb forms, articles, agreement, and passive structures cause reading difficulty.
Write shorter complete sentences with one finite verb, then check subject-verb agreement, articles, and punctuation before adding complex clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.