The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate at least five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The bar chart illustratespresents the proportion of people who ate at least five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK between 2001 and 2008.
Overall, the proportion of people who ate at least five portions of fruit and vegetables was always highest amongin women, while this figure was always lowestthis figure always smallest amongin children. In 2006, those figures for men and women reached their highest level while the figure for children peaked in 2007.
In 2001, around 21% of women20% of total women ate at least five portions of fruit and vegetables. This figure then increased steadilyhad a steady increase, reaching its peak of approximately 35% in 2006, before decreasing slightly to about 30% in 2008. TheThis figure for men plateaued at around 1718% from 2001 to 2003. This proportion then increased steadilyhad a incease, rising from around 17% in 2003 to approximately 27% in 2006 and 2007rising from 18% in 2003 to around 26% in 2007, before decreasing slightly to 25% in 2008.
Regarding children, the percentage meeting this dietary guidelineThe proportion of children who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables remained at around 12% between 2001 and 2003. This figure then increased considerably, from 12% in 2003 to 23% in 2006. The proportion rose to nearly 26% in 2007 before dropping to 24%The proportion fluctuated between around 23% and 25% from 2006 to2008.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response effectively summarizes the main trends and provides an accurate overview with supporting data across all demographic groups. The overall structure is clear and logical, though performance is slightly constrained by minor grammatical slips and vocabulary repetition. To improve, focus on refining sentence structures and ensuring complete accuracy in article usage and word spelling.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear overview and accurately reports key trends and peak figures for all three demographic groups.
Ensure all minor numerical descriptions precisely match the chart values to maintain high data precision throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped by demographic categories with a clear progression from overall trends to detailed data.
Vary cohesive devices slightly more to connect details between different paragraphs seamlessly.
Lexical Resource
A suitable range of vocabulary for describing trends and proportions is used, though a few minor errors occur.
Eliminate minor spelling and typographical errors, such as missing letters or missing spaces between words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex structures is attempted, but occasional grammatical omissions and minor inaccuracies remain noticeable.
Proofread carefully to ensure all comparative clauses and compound sentences contain required verb forms and correct articles.