The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.
Sample Response
The table data compares the figures of a research on why UK residents visited overseas from 1994 to 1998, and the bar chart illustrates where they travelled during these five years.
As a whole, the majority of the UK citizens travelled abroad for holiday making, business and visiting friends and relatives, and Western Europe was their most favourable destination.
By looking at the table, it can be seen that generally there was a growing tendency for the UK people to travel into other countries from 1994 to 1998. During the second year, in 1995, the total number of travellers marginally declined from just over 22000 to nearly 21500; however, it steadily grew and reached the peak of approximately 29000 in the year 1998.
These people gradually became more interested in traveling to all three regions during this period, but Western Europe was the best option. In 1994, just below 20,000 of the UK citizens went into Western Europe, compared with only almost 1000 into the North America. Furthermore, after a small drop in 1995, the population of Western Europe visitors remarkably increased and reached the maximum of above 24000 in 1998, which was far more significant than the other two locations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise noun Original: The table data Suggested revision: The table Why it matters: “Table data” is redundant because the table itself presents the data.
- 2. Correct research phrase Original: figures of a research Suggested revision: results of a survey Why it matters: The chart presents survey results, and “figures of a research” is not idiomatic English.
- 3. Remove redundant timing Original: During the second year, in 1995 Suggested revision: In 1995 Why it matters: The year already identifies the point in the sequence, so both time phrases are unnecessary.
- 4. Report visits accurately Original: travellers Suggested revision: visits Why it matters: The table counts overseas visits, so it does not establish how many unique people travelled.
- 5. Use precise figure Original: just over 22000 Suggested revision: just over 22,000 Why it matters: The comma makes the approximate value of 22,072 easier to read accurately.
- 6. Refine approximation Original: nearly 21500 Suggested revision: about 21,600 Why it matters: The recorded total is 21,610, so 21,600 is a closer concise approximation.
- 7. Use natural trend verb Original: reached the peak of Suggested revision: peaked at Why it matters: “Peaked at” is the standard concise expression before a maximum value.
- 8. Format the value Original: approximately 29000 Suggested revision: approximately 29,000 Why it matters: A thousands separator improves readability while preserving the accurate approximation.
- 9. Use concise date Original: in the year 1998 Suggested revision: in 1998 Why it matters: The shorter form is natural and fully clear in a statistical report.
- 10. Correct travel phrase Original: the UK citizens went into Western Europe Suggested revision: UK residents travelled to Western Europe Why it matters: People travel to a region rather than “go into” it in this reporting context.
- 11. Repair comparison phrase Original: only almost 1000 into the North America Suggested revision: only about 1,000 visiting North America Why it matters: This form completes the comparison and removes the incorrect article before “North America”.
- 12. Count visits precisely Original: population of Western Europe visitors Suggested revision: number of visits to Western Europe Why it matters: The graph reports visits, not the population of visitors.
Suggested Rewrites
- The table data The table
- figures of a research results of a survey
- During the second year, in 1995 In 1995
- travellers visits
- just over 22000 just over 22,000
- nearly 21500 about 21,600
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear organization: it separates the table from the destination chart and identifies Western Europe and the overall rise in travel. Its main limitation is incomplete selection from the purpose table, since it gives no figures or trends for holidays, business, visits to friends and relatives, or other reasons. Prioritize comparing those categories with accurate values while retaining the concise overview.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and broadly accurate destination trends are given, but the purpose table is represented mainly by totals and its category changes are largely omitted.
Compare the holiday, business, friends-and-relatives, and other-reasons figures across the period, emphasizing that holidays remained dominant.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure progresses clearly from introduction and overview to the table and then the destination chart.
Make the transition within the destination paragraph more explicit when moving from the general regional trend to selected figures.
Lexical Resource
The response uses sufficient trend and comparison vocabulary, although phrases such as figures of a research, holiday making, and population of visitors are imprecise.
Use natural data-reporting collocations such as survey figures, travel for holidays, and number of visitors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally controlled, with recurring article and preposition errors that seldom impede meaning.
Review article use and destination prepositions, particularly research without an indefinite article and travel to rather than into a region.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.