The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. You should write not less than 150 words. VISITS ABROAD BY UK RESIDENTS BY PURPOSE OF VISIT (1994-98) Holiday 15,246 14,898 17,896 19,703 20,700 Business 3,155 3,188 3,249 3,639 3,957 Visits to friends & relatives 2,689 2,628 2,774 3,051 3,181 Other reasons 1,030 1,054 TOTAL 22,072 21,610 24,949 27,447 28,828 Destinations of visits abroad by UK residents by main region (1994-98)
Sample Response
The supplied charts depict an outcome of a survey conducted among 100,000 people and the survey asks the reason behind the journey and preferred destinations between the periods of 1994 and 1998.
In the first graph, in 1994, the holiday was the most significant reason behind the United Kingdom citizen's travel and it accounted 15.246 people whereas, 982 people were traveled because of unspecified reasons. Interestingly, in the case of business and visit to friends and relatives, almost an equal number of people visited 3115 and 2689 respectively. In the number of holiday goers, though, there was a slight decrease in the figure in 1995, rest of the years there was a gradual increase in the account and reached above 20 thousand. In spite of some downward trends in the initial year (1995), there was a marginal increase in all the categories.
From the year 1994 to 1998, it is clearly seen the trend that North America and other areas obtained a rock bottom position with less than 2000 people. On the contrary, the number of visitors to Europe at a zenith level with around 20,000 per year, besides it showed a gradual hike in the total number of visitors to all the three destinations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe survey results Original: an outcome Suggested revision: the results Why it matters: Charts depict the results of a survey rather than a single outcome.
- 2. Use past tense Original: asks Suggested revision: asked Why it matters: The survey was conducted in the past, so the reporting verb should be past tense.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: the reason behind the journey Suggested revision: their reasons for travelling Why it matters: The chart records several purposes for overseas travel.
- 4. Simplify the range Original: between the periods of 1994 and 1998 Suggested revision: between 1994 and 1998 Why it matters: Between already expresses the period, so periods of is unnecessary.
- 5. Use plural category Original: the holiday was Suggested revision: holidays were Why it matters: Holidays refers to the category of trips and requires a plural verb.
- 6. Name the main purpose Original: the most significant reason behind Suggested revision: the main reason for Why it matters: Main reason for is the natural expression for the largest travel-purpose category.
- 7. Use plural possessive Original: the United Kingdom citizen's travel Suggested revision: UK residents' travel Why it matters: The data represents many UK residents, so a plural possessive is required.
- 8. Correct value expression Original: accounted 15.246 people Suggested revision: accounted for 15,246 visits Why it matters: The table gives 15,246 holiday visits, and accounted requires for.
- 9. Remove extra comma Original: whereas, Suggested revision: whereas Why it matters: A comma should not immediately follow whereas in this clause.
- 10. Fix passive form Original: people were traveled because of unspecified reasons Suggested revision: visits were made for other reasons Why it matters: People travelled is active, while the chart category is most clearly described as visits made for other reasons.
- 11. Correct the time reference Original: downward trends in the initial year (1995) Suggested revision: declines in 1995 Why it matters: The period starts in 1994, so 1995 is not the initial year.
- 12. Describe overall change Original: a marginal increase in all the categories Suggested revision: an overall increase in all categories Why it matters: Every purpose category ended higher in 1998 than in 1994, and several rises were more than marginal.
Suggested Rewrites
- an outcome the results
- asks asked
- the reason behind the journey their reasons for travelling
- between the periods of 1994 and 1998 between 1994 and 1998
- the holiday was holidays were
- the most significant reason behind the main reason for
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its broad coverage of both purposes and destinations, including the dominance of holidays and Western Europe and the general rise after 1995. Its main limitation is unreliable precision: several figures are misstated or weakly framed, and the smaller destination categories are inaccurately described as remaining below 2,000. Prioritise a clear overall summary followed by exact, well-grouped comparisons from each visual.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report addresses both visuals and identifies their main dominant categories and overall growth, but several values and destination comparisons are inaccurate or insufficiently developed.
Report the 1994 and 1998 endpoints accurately and distinguish Western Europe’s strong growth from the smaller but rising North America and other-area totals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, purpose paragraph and destination paragraph create a logical broad sequence, though progression within sentences is weakened by loose linking and overloaded clauses.
Give one concise overview after the introduction, then use separate, clearly ordered comparisons for purposes and destinations.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in describing change and ranking, but expressions such as “rock bottom position,” “zenith level” and “gradual hike” are inappropriate or imprecise for a formal report.
Use neutral chart language such as “lowest,” “highest,” “rose gradually” and “accounted for” with consistent references to visits or travellers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, passive forms, prepositions and clause construction reduce accuracy throughout.
Build shorter complete clauses, checking structures such as “accounted for,” “people travelled,” and “the number reached” before combining comparisons.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. You should write not less than 150 words. VISITS ABROAD BY UK RESIDENTS BY PURPOSE OF VISIT (1994-98) Holiday 15,246 14,898 17,896 19,703 20,700 Business 3,155 3,188 3,249 3,639 3,957 Visits to friends & relatives 2,689 2,628 2,774 3,051 3,181 Other reasons 1,030 1,054 TOTAL 22,072 21,610 24,949 27,447 28,828 Destinations of visits abroad by UK residents by main region (1994-98)
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