The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
Sample Response
The bar chart demonstrates the duration of phone calls in the United Kingdom divided into three different types, during an eight-year period, commencing from 1995. Looking at the details, domestic and overseas phone calls and mobile lines accounted an increase of telephone calls. Yet, the number of local calls showed a fluctuation. The quantity of national and international call during this time in the UK was about 36 billion minutes in 1995 and swelled gradually to about 36 billion minutes in 2002, approximately twice than that of 1995. Meanwhile, mobile call showed the same trend. The number of mobile phone calls went up significantly from only about 2 billion minutes in 1995 to about 45 billion minutes in 2002 and outlined a dramatic rise, in fact, almost 28 times higher than in 1995. In contrast, the number of local calls fluctuated over the times observed. It was about 71 billion in 1995 and rose modestly to about 90 billion minutes in 1998. The figure levelled off and began to go down in 2002 and kept on falling significantly until 2002 when the figure hit about 71 billion minutes. Nevertheless, the local fixed-line calls constituted the highest duration. The popularity of cell phone calls increased steadily over the period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the measured quantity Original: demonstrates the duration of phone calls Suggested revision: shows the total number of call minutes Why it matters: The vertical axis reports billions of minutes rather than the duration of individual calls.
- 2. Use chart terminology Original: divided into three different types Suggested revision: divided into three categories Why it matters: Categories is the clearer term for the three call groupings in the chart.
- 3. Fix the time phrase Original: , during an eight-year period, commencing from 1995 Suggested revision: over the eight-year period from 1995 Why it matters: The original phrase is unnecessarily separated and uses the faulty collocation commencing from.
- 4. State the actual pattern Original: showed a fluctuation Suggested revision: rose and then fell Why it matters: The local-call series follows one clear rise to a peak followed by a decline.
- 5. Qualify the mobile trend Original: mobile call showed the same trend Suggested revision: mobile calls also rose overall Why it matters: Mobile minutes increased strongly overall but dipped in the final year, so the trend was not identical.
- 6. Correct the starting value Original: only about 2 billion Suggested revision: about 3 billion Why it matters: The 1995 mobile bar is approximately three billion minutes.
- 7. Fix the collocation Original: outlined Suggested revision: represented Why it matters: A numerical change represents a rise; it does not outline one.
- 8. Correct the multiplier Original: almost 28 times higher than in 1995 Suggested revision: about fifteen times the 1995 figure Why it matters: An increase from roughly three to forty-five billion minutes is about fifteenfold.
- 9. Use a natural time phrase Original: over the times observed Suggested revision: over the period Why it matters: Over the period is the standard expression for the full span shown.
- 10. Correct value and unit Original: about 71 billion in 1995 Suggested revision: about 72 billion minutes in 1995 Why it matters: The first local fixed-line bar is approximately seventy-two billion minutes.
- 11. Correct the peak year Original: 1998 Suggested revision: 1999 Why it matters: Local fixed-line calls reach their highest point in 1999, not 1998.
- 12. Fix the quantity phrase Original: constituted the highest duration Suggested revision: accounted for the greatest number of minutes Why it matters: This wording correctly describes the category with the largest total call time.
Suggested Rewrites
- demonstrates the duration of phone calls shows the total number of call minutes
- divided into three different types divided into three categories
- , during an eight-year period, commencing from 1995 over the eight-year period from 1995
- showed a fluctuation rose and then fell
- mobile call showed the same trend mobile calls also rose overall
- only about 2 billion about 3 billion
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response captures the main overall trends: local fixed-line calls remained highest, while national/international and mobile calls rose. Its strongest feature is the inclusion of relevant start, peak, and end figures, but several values and time references are contradictory or inaccurate. Check every figure against the chart and present each call category in a clearly sequenced paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The principal trends are identified, but the national/international endpoint, the local-call peak year, and several calculations or time references are inaccurate or contradictory.
Verify that national/international calls end near 61 billion, local calls peak in 1999, and every stated multiplier matches the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows the three categories in a broadly understandable order, but its single dense paragraph and contradictory sequencing weaken progression.
Use an overview followed by separate, chronologically ordered detail paragraphs for local calls and the two rising categories.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of trend vocabulary, though several collocations such as "accounted an increase" and "constituted the highest duration" are inaccurate.
Prefer precise combinations such as "recorded an increase," "rose to," and "accounted for the greatest call duration."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences, but frequent agreement, article, comparison, and preposition errors reduce control and sometimes clarity.
Check singular and plural forms, comparative structures such as "twice as high as," and verb-preposition patterns in every sentence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.