The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. UK telephone calls, by category, 1995-2002
Sample Response
The bar chart outlines the duration of local, national & international and mobile phone calls in the UK between 1995 and 2002.
Overall, British citizens talked over the local land-lines the most; and mobile phone gained a huge popularity over the time, especailly after the year 2000. Initially, in 1995, British residents talked over 70 billion minutes using local-fixed lines, and their conversation duration on the national and international fixed-lines was almost half of that. They spoke only b million minutes on cell phones. The communication span via local-fixed lines was the highest in 1999 when it accounted for 90 billion minutes. At that time, their national and international landline communication amounted 50 billion minutes, and over 10 billion minutes on the cell phones. It is evident that the total number of phone conversation using the local lines increased till 1999 and then kept on declining while a steady growth was evident for national and international fixed line calls. During 2001, British people spoke around 60 billion minutes on national and international land-lines while the use of mobile phone was on the hike, around 50 million minutes conversation was made by cell phones.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal conjunction Original: national & international Suggested revision: national and international Why it matters: Writing out ‘and’ is more appropriate in a formal report.
- 2. Use concise category Original: mobile phone calls Suggested revision: mobile calls Why it matters: This concise wording matches the chart category without changing the meaning.
- 3. Remove redundant marker Original: Initially, in 1995 Suggested revision: In 1995 Why it matters: The starting year already makes ‘initially’ unnecessary.
- 4. Describe call totals Original: talked over 70 billion minutes Suggested revision: made calls totalling over 70 billion minutes Why it matters: People make calls, while the chart measures their total duration.
- 5. Natural line phrase Original: using local-fixed lines Suggested revision: on local fixed lines Why it matters: Calls are naturally described as being made ‘on’ fixed lines.
- 6. Use chart terminology Original: their conversation duration Suggested revision: the call duration Why it matters: ‘Call duration’ describes the measured quantity more precisely.
- 7. Correct duration phrase Original: on the national and international fixed-lines Suggested revision: for national and international fixed-line calls Why it matters: A duration is recorded ‘for’ a category of calls.
- 8. Use call verb Original: spoke Suggested revision: made Why it matters: The chart records calls made rather than the act of speaking.
- 9. Correct mobile value Original: b million minutes Suggested revision: about 3 billion minutes of calls Why it matters: The 1995 mobile bar is approximately 3 billion minutes, not an unspecified number of millions.
- 10. Use precise measure Original: communication span Suggested revision: call duration Why it matters: ‘Call duration’ is the natural term for the total minutes shown.
- 11. Natural fixed-line phrase Original: via local-fixed lines Suggested revision: on local fixed lines Why it matters: The preposition ‘on’ is conventional when describing telephone lines.
- 12. Use peak verb Original: was the highest in 1999 Suggested revision: peaked in 1999 Why it matters: ‘Peaked’ expresses the highest point directly and concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- national & international national and international
- mobile phone calls mobile calls
- Initially, in 1995 In 1995
- talked over 70 billion minutes made calls totalling over 70 billion minutes
- using local-fixed lines on local fixed lines
- their conversation duration the call duration
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear account of the major trends, particularly the peak and subsequent decline in local calls and the growth of the other categories. Its main limitation is data precision: the 1995 mobile figure is corrupted, 2001 mobile use is reported in millions rather than billions, and 2002 is omitted. The priority is to verify units and include the final-year comparisons while preserving the clear trend overview.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main trends are identified and supported with several accurate values, but two mobile figures are faulty and the final year is not described.
Verify all mobile values and units, then compare the three categories in 2002 to complete the report.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from an overview to selected years and trend development, though the dense detail paragraph and final comma splice weaken control.
Divide the details into logical trend groups and use a full stop before the final mobile comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for describing trends, but awkward combinations such as 'communication span' and 'on the hike' reduce naturalness and precision.
Use standard graph language such as 'call duration,' 'rose sharply,' 'peaked,' and 'declined.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but article, preposition, noun-form, and clause-boundary errors recur without usually obscuring meaning.
Check verb patterns and sentence boundaries, especially constructions such as 'amounted to 50 billion minutes' and separate independent clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. UK telephone calls, by category, 1995-2002
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.