The graph below shows the top priorities by business companies in the USA in 2016. Top Priorities by Company Size
Same question Compare 2 different answers
Sample Response
The bar graph shows the priorities set by businesses in the United States in 2016 based on their sizes. As is obvious, small and medium businesses put more emphasis on increasing leads and gaining customers while large companies fairly distributed their priorities on lead generation, customer acquisition, increasing income and providing ROI to marketing. In details, small US business companies with less than 25 employees put equal emphasis on converting contacts to leads and increasing leads. They put 71% priority on both of these aspects as they were more focused on generating leads and turning them into customers. 33% of their priority was set to providing Return on Investment (ROI) to marketing actions and 20% on deducting expenses on obtaining new clients. Medium companies, having employees 26 - 200, put the highest emphasise (79%) on increasing leads. Their second priority was converting contacts to customers, 73% priority. Their priority for earning more from existing customer and marketing ROI were equal, 47%. Finally, companies having more than 200 employees, large businesses, put almost a similar importance on all these aspects except reducing lead generation cost which was the least priority by all these companies.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: based on their sizes Suggested revision: by company size Why it matters: This is the conventional concise phrase for the chart's grouping variable.
- 2. Correct collocation Original: fairly distributed their priorities on Suggested revision: distributed their priorities fairly across Why it matters: Priorities are distributed across categories, not on them.
- 3. Use fixed phrase Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The standard transition is the singular fixed phrase in detail.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: small US business companies Suggested revision: small US businesses Why it matters: Business companies is redundant because both nouns express the same idea.
- 5. Correct category meaning Original: converting contacts to leads Suggested revision: converting contacts or leads into customers Why it matters: The chart's category concerns conversion into customers, not converting contacts into leads.
- 6. Use chart terminology Original: deducting expenses on obtaining new clients Suggested revision: reducing contact, lead or customer acquisition costs Why it matters: This accurately expresses the cost-reduction priority named in the chart.
- 7. Fix number phrase Original: having employees 26 - 200 Suggested revision: with 26–200 employees Why it matters: With plus the numerical range gives the company-size description grammatically.
- 8. Use noun form Original: highest emphasise Suggested revision: greatest emphasis Why it matters: Emphasis is the noun required after greatest.
- 9. Signal the overview Original: As is obvious Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall explicitly marks the sentence as the report's summary of the main patterns.
- 10. Match the category Original: gaining customers Suggested revision: converting contacts or leads into customers Why it matters: This wording mirrors the precise priority shown in the chart.
- 11. Correct ROI phrasing Original: providing ROI to marketing Suggested revision: achieving return on investment from marketing activities Why it matters: Return is achieved from marketing activities rather than provided to marketing.
- 12. Correct company range Original: less than 25 employees Suggested revision: 25 or fewer employees Why it matters: The chart includes companies with 25 employees in its smallest category.
Suggested Rewrites
- based on their sizes by company size
- fairly distributed their priorities on distributed their priorities fairly across
- details detail
- small US business companies small US businesses
- converting contacts to leads converting contacts or leads into customers
- deducting expenses on obtaining new clients reducing contact, lead or customer acquisition costs
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects the leading priorities for small and medium firms and supports them with several accurate percentages, while the broad comparison with large firms is relevant. Coverage becomes less complete for the largest-company group, and some category descriptions are imprecise or awkward. Prioritise a fuller comparison across all three company sizes, using the chart’s exact category labels and a few representative figures for large firms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and accurate key figures for small and medium firms, though the largest firms receive only a general description without supporting values.
Add representative percentages for the largest companies and use the chart’s exact labels when identifying priorities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear small-to-medium-to-large progression, but placing the overview and all details in one paragraph weakens the presentation of grouped information.
Use a separate overview and divide the detailed comparisons into focused paragraphs while retaining the logical company-size sequence.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably broad business vocabulary communicates the comparisons, although repeated use of "priority" and awkward choices such as "deducting expenses" and "a similar importance" limit precision.
Replace awkward paraphrases with precise terms such as "reducing acquisition costs" and vary repeated wording only when the alternative is accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures with generally clear meaning, but errors in articles, agreement, word form, and comparison structures remain noticeable.
Edit complex sentences for article use, plural agreement, and correct forms such as "emphasis" and "similar importance".
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the top priorities by business companies in the USA in 2016. Top Priorities by Company Size
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.