The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Sample Response
The line chart delineates the changes in the number of jobsoccupations in four sectors of the economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcareagriculture and healthcare, in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is obvious that the number of employees in the retail and healthcare industries experienced a significant upward trendwitnessed an upward trend while the other two sectors decreased in general. In 1960, manufacturing had the largest number of workers whereas healthcare had the smallest one. However, retail and healthcare became the areas that had the most workers after six decades.
In detail, the number of individuals working in manufacturing increasedindividuals working in manufacturing increased from 15 million to 20 million by 1980, hitting theirits peak before declining sharply to nearly 12.5 million in 2020. By contrast, the number of jobs in agriculture registered a moderate downward tendency from about 6 million to 3 million in 1980, stabilizing until 2000 before dropping slightly to under 2 million in 2020from 5.2 million to 2.5 million before dropping slightly to under 2 million in 2020 and stabilizing in the following two decades. When it comes to retail and healthcare sectorsdepartments, the number of staff began at 6 million and 2 million respectively in 19606 million and 2 million in 1960, both rising to approximately 16 million by 2020surging to eventually 16 million in 2020.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively highlights key trends and comparison points with a clear overall structure and a strong variety of sentence structures. A key limitation lies in minor timeline inaccuracies and slightly imprecise descriptions in the data detail paragraph, particularly regarding agricultural trends. To reach a higher standard, ensure that chronological progression is strictly accurate and avoid combining dynamic data trajectories in ways that obscure individual sector trends.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and presents main features effectively, though there are minor chronological inaccuracies regarding the agricultural sector towards 2020.
Double-check time periods and data points to ensure that reported trends align precisely with the timeline provided in the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and key features are organized logically into clear paragraphs with appropriate linking devices throughout.
Ensure transitions between sentences in the detailed description paragraph maintain strict chronological flow so readers can follow data changes effortlessly.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary is used flexibly to describe trends, figures, and comparisons.
Refine vocabulary choices to ensure industry descriptors remain natural, such as referring to 'sectors' rather than 'departments'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures are used accurately with only rare, non-impeding grammatical slips.
Continue using complex participial clauses while ensuring subject references and tense consistency remain entirely clear when stringing multiple actions together.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.