The graph below shows the number of vehicles owned by per thousand people in China from 1987 to 1999.
Sample Response
A glance at the graph reveals some informationstriking information about how many vehicles were owned per thousand people in Chinahow many cars per thousand people in China owned over a twelve-year periodin a period of twelve years. Overall, theit can be seen that over the period, the car ownership in China increasedincreases remarkably. In 1987 every forty Chinese on an average had a car and only in two years, every twenty persons owned a vehicle in China. The vehicle ownership continued to increasekept on increasing , and by 1993and in 1993 there were 100 vehicles per thousand peopleeach ten Chinese on an average owned a car. After that, the car ownership ratio in China rose sharplyupsurged and over the next two yearsjust in the next two years the figure doubled to 200 vehicles per thousand peoplethe vehicle number in China doubled. OverIn the final four years, from 1995 to 1999, the number of vehicles per thousand peopletotal vehicle number in China rose sharplyoverwhelmingly and by 1999 there were just over 400 vehicles per thousand peoplein 1999 there were more than 400 vehicles in China for every thousand population. In summary, the vehicle ownership in China increased dramatically and just in 12 years, the car ownership in China reached to almost a car for every two persons from only one car for forty persons.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report communicates the strong upward trend clearly and supports it with several well-chosen milestones, including the doubling from about 100 to 200 vehicles per thousand between 1993 and 1995. Its main weakness is imprecise conversion and phrasing, especially equating the 1999 figure of just over 400 with almost one vehicle per two people. Keep the original units and organise the chronology into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The upward trend and several key values are accurately selected, but the final conversion overstates the 1999 figure and some intermediate data are only approximate.
Report values consistently as vehicles per thousand people, including about 25 in 1987 and just over 400 in 1999.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological progression is easy to follow, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph and repeating the overview limits organisation.
Use separate introduction, overview and detail paragraphs, grouping the earlier and later years rather than restating the trend at the end.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a fair range of trend vocabulary, although choices such as "upsurged" and "rose overwhelmingly" are unnatural.
Prefer conventional data language such as "rose sharply," "doubled" and "reached just over 400" while reducing repetition of "car ownership in China."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, but recurring word-order, article, preposition and clause-formation errors affect many sentences.
Practise standard forms such as "the number rose to," "one vehicle for every forty people" and "vehicles per thousand people."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of vehicles owned by per thousand people in China from 1987 to 1999.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.