The bar chart shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second years of use.
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Sample Response
The bar chart compares the number of visits each month to a community website in the first and second years of operation.
Overall, the number of visits in the second year was much higher than that in the first year in almost every month, with August being the only exception. Both years showed a similar pattern, with visitorvisitors numbers rising through winter and summer, but fallingand summer, falling in autumn and spring.
Between September and DecemberFrom September to November and December, visits grew from around 2,000 to 10,000 in Year 1, and from approximately 3,000 to 17,000 in Year 2. The first-year visits then declined to approximately 4,000 in January and bottomed out at about 1,000 in February and March, while the second-year visits reached their lowest level of 10,000 in February and March.
FollowingFellowing a continuous increase from close to 5,000 in April, first-year visitsvisits of the first year peaked at just below 15,000 in August. Meanwhile, the figure for the second year rose from around 12,500 in April to 22,500 in both June and July, before declining rapidly to 13,000 in August, making August the sole exception where the first year of usewhere first year of use exceeded the second year of useexceeded second year of use.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear and accurate summary of the bar chart, highlighting key trends and providing relevant data comparisons. The essay is logically structured with effective cohesive devices that guide the reader smoothly between key features. To improve further, ensure minor grammatical errors and spelling typos are eliminated during proofreading.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response clearly presents a well-developed overview along with accurate descriptions and key comparisons across both years.
Refine descriptions of seasonal trends to ensure general claims strictly align with every individual data point shown.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and key ideas are logically organized into clear paragraphs with appropriate linking expressions.
Vary cohesive markers slightly more to avoid relying on repetitive temporal transition phrases.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible range of vocabulary is used accurately to describe trends, figures, and comparative points.
Carefully proofread the text to prevent minor spelling typos from slipping through.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex sentence structures is used with good control, though minor grammatical and article errors are present.
Pay closer attention to article usage before noun phrases and ensure participle clauses are spelled correctly.