The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Sample Response
The two pie chartschart illustrate the percentage of water used by different sectorssections in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Overall, the food industry used the most waterfood industry used the most of water in both 1997 and 2007, whereas building industry used the least waterused the lowest of water in 1997 and 2007. In addition, the water usage of the service industrywater usage of service industry in 2007 was much higher than that in 1997, while the water usage of manufacturing in 2007 was much lower than its percentagepercantage in 1997.
Food industry used 48% of the total water48% of total water in 1997 and 41% of total water in 2007, it consumed the most of total water than other sectors. Furthermore, the building industry used the least waterbuilding industry used the lowest of total water, only accounting for 5% in 1997,and it furtherstill decreased to 2% in 2007.
The water usage of householdswater usage of household use remained stable between 1997 and 2007; it made upremained stable in 1997 and 2007, it made up 19% in 1997, only 2 percentage points lower than its percentagepercantage in 2007. Besides, service industry and manufacturing shared a similar water usage levelshared the approximate water usage level in 1997, where the former made up 13% and the latterlater represented 15%. However, in 2007, the water use of the service industrywater use of service industry was much higher than that of manufacturing, which service industry constituted 25%, 14 percentage points higher than the percentage of water use in manufacturingmanucfacturing.
Why this response received Band 6.5
文章准确涵盖了图表的主要数据特征并提供了清晰的概述，对比逻辑较为完整。然而，句式连接中存在多处逗号误用（逗号连接独立主谓句）以及部分固定搭配和拼写错误。最优先的改进方向是加强语法结构的准确性，特别是正确使用连词和从句来连接句子。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务完成度
文章包含了清晰的概述，准确罗列了各个行业在两个年份的数据变化与比较。
可以进一步提炼总结性语言，使不同板块之间的对比更加系统连贯。
连贯与衔接
文章段落划分合理，信息推进基本清晰，但部分衔接词的使用略显机械。
注意避免使用逗号直接连接两个独立句子，多使用恰当的逻辑连词或分号来提升连贯性。
词汇资源
词汇量能够满足描述图表的基本需求，但出现了拼写错误及表达不地道的情况。
积累并替换不地道的搭配（如用 the largest share 代替 used the most of water），同时加强对 percantage、manufacturing 等词汇拼写的检查。
语法多样性与准确性
能够尝试使用多种句式，但存在主谓单复数不一致及多处逗号拼接句（comma splice）等语法错误。
重点练习复合句和非谓语动词结构，确保主从句逻辑关系规范、标点符号使用正确。
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.