The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Sample Response
The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Overall, the food industry used the most water in both 1997 and 2007, whereas the building industry used the least in both years.used the least water in 1997 and 2007. In addition, the water usage of the service industry in 2007 was much higher than that in 1997, while the water usage of manufacturing in 2007 was much lower than its percentage in 1997.
The food industry used 48% of total water in 1997 and 41% of total water in 2007. It consumed more total water than other sectors. Furthermore, the building industry used the least total water, only accounting for 5% in 1997, which further dropped to 2%and it still decreased to 2% in 2007.
The water usage of households remained stable in 1997 and 2007. It made up 19% in 1997, only 2 percentage points lower than its percentage in 2007. MeanwhileBesides, the service industry and manufacturing accounted for similar proportions of water useshared the approximate water usage level in 1997, with the former making up 13% and the latter representing 15%. However, in 2007, the water use of the service industry was much higher than that of manufacturing, with the service industry constituting 25%, 14 percentage points higher than that of manufacturingthe percentage of water use in manufacturing.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The report provides a clear and accurate summary of the water usage data across both years, highlighting main trends and structural comparisons effectively. Paragraphing and cohesive device usage are smooth and natural, accompanied by precise data reporting and flexible sentence structures. To enhance the essay further, aim for even greater lexical variety when describing proportions and shifts over time.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a thorough overview and accurately highlights key features and comparisons based on the data.
Ensure that subtle percentage comparisons are framed with even more concise context to maintain maximum clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically structured into well-defined paragraphs with clear internal progression and cohesive linkers.
Vary transition phrases across paragraphs to avoid repeating words like besides and furthermore.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of vocabulary is used to describe proportions and comparative data accurately.
Incorporate a broader set of verbs and nouns for describing fluctuations to avoid repeating terms like water use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures are used accurately with consistent grammatical control throughout the essay.
Maintain this high level of grammatical accuracy while experimenting with additional complex structure combinations.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.