The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.
Sample Response
The provided pie charts present a comparison on the education level of females in Someland between the years 1945 and 1995. Overall, as is observed, more female got educated in Someland in 1995 than that of 1945. Firstly, women education scenario in Someland in 1945 was terrible as there was no postgraduate woman and only 1% women who completed their first degree in this year. It is of note that in 1945 the percentages of females who did not finish even 12th class degree comprised 95% of total women. 35% of these women never went to school at all. On the contrary, the women education in Someland after 50 years witnessed a noticeable improvement. In this year all women in Someland went to school and completed at least 9th grade. The percentage of women completed their first degree was half of the total woman. 20% women completed their post-graduation at that time which was a significant improvement in terms of the women education in 1945. In summary, women's schooling rates in Someland made a noticeable progress during a 50-year period from 1945 to 1995.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct preposition Original: on Suggested revision: of Why it matters: A comparison of two distributions takes the preposition “of.”
- 2. Match chart measure Original: the education level Suggested revision: the highest education levels Why it matters: The charts classify each woman's highest attained level across several categories.
- 3. Use possessive noun phrase Original: women education scenario Suggested revision: women's educational profile Why it matters: The possessive form and adjective create a grammatical noun phrase.
- 4. Use neutral description Original: was terrible Suggested revision: was relatively low Why it matters: Task 1 reporting should describe the level neutrally rather than judge it as terrible.
- 5. Use plural group phrase Original: no postgraduate woman Suggested revision: no women with postgraduate qualifications Why it matters: The chart describes the share of a group, so a plural noun phrase is required.
- 6. Fix percentage construction Original: only 1% women who completed Suggested revision: only 1% of women had completed Why it matters: A percentage of a group requires “of,” and the earlier completed event takes past perfect here.
- 7. Use concise time reference Original: in this year. Suggested revision: that year. Why it matters: “That year” refers naturally to the previously stated 1945.
- 8. Use concise emphasis Original: It is of note Suggested revision: Notably Why it matters: The single adverb introduces the notable figure more concisely.
- 9. Use singular percentage Original: the percentages of females Suggested revision: the percentage of women Why it matters: The sentence reports one combined 95% share, so “percentage” should be singular.
- 10. Use chart category accurately Original: did not finish even 12th class degree Suggested revision: had not reached Year 12 Why it matters: The chart labels Year 12 as an educational level rather than a degree.
- 11. Use proportion verb correctly Original: comprised 95% of total women Suggested revision: accounted for 95% of women Why it matters: A group accounts for a percentage; a percentage does not comprise the group.
- 12. Use comparison linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The sentence contrasts two years rather than directly refuting the previous claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- on of
- the education level the highest education levels
- women education scenario women's educational profile
- was terrible was relatively low
- no postgraduate woman no women with postgraduate qualifications
- only 1% women who completed only 1% of women had completed
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report gives a clear overview of substantial educational improvement and accurately selects several decisive figures, including no postgraduate women in 1945, 50% with first degrees in 1995, and 20% with postgraduate qualifications. Its main weakness is language precision: subjective wording and frequent noun, article, and agreement errors reduce clarity. Prioritise using neutral chart language and standard percentage structures while adding one comparison of the intermediate education levels.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and major figures accurately capture the transformation, though the intermediate school-level categories receive limited comparative detail.
Add one grouped comparison showing how the 1945 lower-education categories were replaced by Year 12 and tertiary qualifications in 1995.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear 1945-to-1995 sequence, but the single paragraph and repetitive concluding overview limit structural refinement.
Separate the overview and use one focused detail paragraph for each year without restating the same conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but subjective and unnatural phrases such as ‘terrible scenario’ and ‘made a progress’ reduce precision.
Use neutral expressions including ‘educational attainment’, ‘highest qualification’, ‘accounted for’, and ‘increased substantially’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The main meaning is accessible, but frequent errors with plural nouns, articles, agreement, and relative clauses weaken grammatical control.
Use ‘women’ consistently as a plural subject and build percentage sentences around ‘X% of women had completed’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.