The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.
Sample Response
The provided pie charts present a comparison ofon the highest education levelsthe education level of females in Someland between the years 1945 and 1995. Overall, as is observed, more female got educated in Someland in 1995 than that of 1945. Firstly, women's educational profilewomen education scenario in Someland in 1945 was relatively lowwas terrible as there was no women with postgraduate qualificationsno postgraduate woman and only 1% of women had completedonly 1% women who completed their first degree that year.in this year. NotablyIt is of note that in 1945 the percentage of womenthe percentages of females who had not reached Year 12did not finish even 12th class degree accounted for 95% of womencomprised 95% of total women. 35% of these women never went to school at all. By contrastOn the contrary, women's education in Somelandthe women education in Someland 50 years later showed a marked improvementafter 50 years witnessed a noticeable improvement. In 1995, all womenIn this year all women in Someland went to school and completed at least 9th grade. The percentage of women who completedpercentage of women completed their first degree was half of all womenhalf of the total woman. 20% of women had completed20% women completed their post-graduation at that time which was a significant improvement in terms of the women education in 1945. In summary, women's schooling rates in Someland made a noticeable progress during a 50-year period from 1945 to 1995.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report gives a clear overview of substantial educational improvement and accurately selects several decisive figures, including no postgraduate women in 1945, 50% with first degrees in 1995, and 20% with postgraduate qualifications. Its main weakness is language precision: subjective wording and frequent noun, article, and agreement errors reduce clarity. Prioritise using neutral chart language and standard percentage structures while adding one comparison of the intermediate education levels.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and major figures accurately capture the transformation, though the intermediate school-level categories receive limited comparative detail.
Add one grouped comparison showing how the 1945 lower-education categories were replaced by Year 12 and tertiary qualifications in 1995.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear 1945-to-1995 sequence, but the single paragraph and repetitive concluding overview limit structural refinement.
Separate the overview and use one focused detail paragraph for each year without restating the same conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but subjective and unnatural phrases such as ‘terrible scenario’ and ‘made a progress’ reduce precision.
Use neutral expressions including ‘educational attainment’, ‘highest qualification’, ‘accounted for’, and ‘increased substantially’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The main meaning is accessible, but frequent errors with plural nouns, articles, agreement, and relative clauses weaken grammatical control.
Use ‘women’ consistently as a plural subject and build percentage sentences around ‘X% of women had completed’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.