The diagram shows the different stages in the production of woollen goods
Sample Response
The chart illustrates the various steps in the process of making woollen products.
Overall, there are 10 principal stages in this process, beginning with the rearing of sheep and ending with the finished goods.
Firstly, sheep are reared, until they have enough wool on their bodies for the next step – removing the wool, known as shearing. At the third and fourth stages, this wool is cleaned and dried. It is then ready for spinning by machine, after which the wool is almost ready to be made into different products. At this spinning stage, however, some of the product can be used to make string and may be recycled.
From the wool produced at the sixth stage, tufts of wool are manufactured and then stored. Next, the tufted wool is used for spinning into balls of yarn. Finally, these balls of yarn may be used for knitting or for making into woollen goods, such as jackets or carpets.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the correct stage Original: spinning Suggested revision: carding Why it matters: The visual shows carding after drying, whereas spinning occurs later when yarn is made.
- 2. Show the process split Original: after which the wool is almost ready to be made into different products Suggested revision: after which the material separates into two production paths Why it matters: The diagram branches after carding rather than moving directly toward finished products.
- 3. Clarify the recycling branch Original: can be used to make string and may be recycled Suggested revision: forms string, which can be recycled Why it matters: The visual specifically shows string leading to recycling.
- 4. Identify carding accurately Original: From the wool produced at the sixth stage Suggested revision: From the wool produced by carding Why it matters: The diagram names carding as the stage that produces the tuft of wool.
- 5. Use the diagram term Original: the tufted wool Suggested revision: the tufts of wool Why it matters: Tufts of wool is the accurate and natural term for the material shown.
- 6. Use a concise passive Original: used for spinning into balls of yarn Suggested revision: spun into balls of yarn Why it matters: The passive form expresses this processing stage more naturally and accurately.
- 7. Complete the passive form Original: for making into woollen goods Suggested revision: made into woollen goods Why it matters: Made into is the correct passive construction after may be.
- 8. Use the visual type Original: chart Suggested revision: diagram Why it matters: Diagram is the more precise term for this process visual.
- 9. Use concise process wording Original: various steps in the process of making Suggested revision: stages in the production of Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same meaning more concisely in an academic description.
- 10. Correct the stage name Original: spinning Suggested revision: carding Why it matters: The branching into tufts and recyclable string occurs at carding, not spinning.
- 11. Show an alternative branch Original: however Suggested revision: also Why it matters: Also presents string as an additional output of carding rather than as a contrast.
- 12. Clarify the material Original: product Suggested revision: material Why it matters: Product incorrectly suggests a finished item at this intermediate stage.
Suggested Rewrites
- spinning carding
- after which the wool is almost ready to be made into different products after which the material separates into two production paths
- can be used to make string and may be recycled forms string, which can be recycled
- From the wool produced at the sixth stage From the wool produced by carding
- the tufted wool the tufts of wool
- used for spinning into balls of yarn spun into balls of yarn
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and follows the production sequence logically, covering nearly all major stages and both final uses. Its main weakness is imprecise reporting around carding: this stage is called spinning, and the split into recyclable string and tufts is not fully clear. Prioritise naming carding accurately and explaining the two branches exactly as the diagram shows.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and broad coverage of the process are provided, though carding is misnamed and its two output branches are described imprecisely.
State that dried wool is carded, producing tufts for storage and string that is sent for recycling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into overview and detail paragraphs, with clear chronological progression through the stages.
Make the branch after carding even clearer by separating the string route from the main yarn-production route.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective process terms such as shearing, reared, manufactured, and recycled.
Use the diagram's exact technical label carding and replace awkward wording such as making into woollen goods.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Refine minor constructions by writing used to make woollen goods and avoiding the unnecessary comma after reared.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram shows the different stages in the production of woollen goods
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.