The diagram shows the different stages in the production of woollen goods
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The diagramchart illustrates the stages in the production ofvarious steps in the process of making woollen products.
Overall, there are 10 principal stages in this process, beginning with the rearing of sheep and ending with the finished goods.
Firstly, sheep are reared, until they have enough wool on their bodies for the next step – removing the wool, known as shearing. At the third and fourth stages, this wool is cleaned and dried. It is then ready for cardingspinning by machine, after which the material separates into two production pathsafter which the wool is almost ready to be made into different products. At this cardingspinning stage, alsohowever, some of the materialproduct forms string, which can be recycledcan be used to make string and may be recycled.
From the wool produced by cardingFrom the wool produced at the sixth stage, tufts of wool are producedmanufactured and then stored. Next, the tufts of woolthe tufted wool is spun into balls of yarnused for spinning into balls of yarn. Finally, these balls of yarn may either be used for knittingthese balls of yarn may be used for knitting or made into woollen goodsfor making into woollen goods, such as jackets or carpets.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and follows the production sequence logically, covering nearly all major stages and both final uses. Its main weakness is imprecise reporting around carding: this stage is called spinning, and the split into recyclable string and tufts is not fully clear. Prioritise naming carding accurately and explaining the two branches exactly as the diagram shows.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and broad coverage of the process are provided, though carding is misnamed and its two output branches are described imprecisely.
State that dried wool is carded, producing tufts for storage and string that is sent for recycling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into overview and detail paragraphs, with clear chronological progression through the stages.
Make the branch after carding even clearer by separating the string route from the main yarn-production route.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective process terms such as shearing, reared, manufactured, and recycled.
Use the diagram's exact technical label carding and replace awkward wording such as making into woollen goods.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Refine minor constructions by writing used to make woollen goods and avoiding the unnecessary comma after reared.