The graph and the pie chart below give information on in-house training courses in a large financial company. Office Worker’s Attitude to Training (%)
Sample Response
The pie chart shows the yearly duration of four different in-house professional training sessions in a large company while the bar graph outlines what managers and secretaries think about it. Overall, the duration of technical training is higher than other types of training and most of the managers and secretaries of this company opine that these training sessions are important for their job. According to the illustration, the yearly duration of technical training is 30 hours which is exactly double and treble than that of career and interpersonal skills development training. Health and safety related sessions have the least duration, 5 hours per year to be precise. The bar graph reveals that more than 80% secretaries and roughly 77% managers find these training sessions helpful for their jobs. One out of ten employees does not take it positively as they think it kills their time. Half of the managers and over 40% secretaries consider the training as an opportunity to expanding their network. Finally, more than 6 out of ten also feel that these training sessions bring good excuses for a change.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise term Original: four different in-house professional training sessions Suggested revision: four types of in-house professional training Why it matters: The visuals present training types rather than individual sessions.
- 2. Clarify reference Original: think about it Suggested revision: think about the training Why it matters: The singular pronoun has no clear singular referent.
- 3. Compare duration clearly Original: the duration of technical training is higher than other types of training Suggested revision: technical training takes more time than the other types of training Why it matters: Duration is longer or shorter, not higher or lower than a training type.
- 4. Use natural verb Original: opine Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: Believe is more natural for reporting the employees' views here.
- 5. Use plural noun Original: their job Suggested revision: their jobs Why it matters: The plural possessive refers to the separate jobs held by multiple employees.
- 6. Add comma Original: 30 hours which Suggested revision: 30 hours, which Why it matters: A comma is required before this non-defining relative clause.
- 7. Fix comparison form Original: double and treble than that of career and interpersonal skills development training Suggested revision: double that of career development and triple that of interpersonal skills training Why it matters: Double and triple take a direct comparison rather than than.
- 8. Hyphenate modifier Original: Health and safety related Suggested revision: Health-and-safety-related Why it matters: The compound phrase functions as a modifier before sessions.
- 9. Use duration collocation Original: have the least duration Suggested revision: have the shortest duration Why it matters: Shortest is the natural adjective for comparing durations.
- 10. Add proportion marker Original: more than 80% secretaries Suggested revision: more than 80% of secretaries Why it matters: A percentage followed by a specific group requires of.
- 11. Add proportion marker Original: roughly 77% managers Suggested revision: roughly 77% of managers Why it matters: A percentage followed by a specific group requires of.
- 12. Keep groups distinct Original: One out of ten employees Suggested revision: About one in ten people in each group Why it matters: The chart gives separate values of roughly one in ten for managers and secretaries.
Suggested Rewrites
- four different in-house professional training sessions four types of in-house professional training
- think about it think about the training
- the duration of technical training is higher than other types of training technical training takes more time than the other types of training
- opine believe
- their job their jobs
- 30 hours which 30 hours, which
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear overview and accurately selects nearly all key figures and comparisons from both visuals, especially the relative training durations and the contrasting staff attitudes. Its main limitation is language control: several comparisons and collocations are awkward, and the single-block presentation reduces structural clarity. Prioritise more natural comparative phrasing, accurate verb patterns, and clear paragraphing between the overview and supporting details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate coverage of the four training durations and the main attitude comparisons fulfil the task strongly.
Report the roughly ten-percent waste-of-time figures separately for managers and secretaries rather than merging them as employees.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from the overview to training hours and then staff attitudes, with clear basic linking.
Separate the overview and the two visual-detail sections into distinct paragraphs to make the structure more immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough to describe proportions and attitudes, but several choices such as 'opine' and 'bring good excuses' sound unnatural.
Use standard chart-reporting collocations such as 'believe', 'regard training as', and 'provide a welcome change'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of sentence structures is attempted, although errors in comparison forms and verb patterns recur.
Correct structures such as 'three times as long as' and 'an opportunity to expand' while checking agreement and reference.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph and the pie chart below give information on in-house training courses in a large financial company. Office Worker’s Attitude to Training (%)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.