You are a college student in an English speaking country. You share a rented apartment with others but want to move to the college accommodation instead. Write a letter to the teacher in charge of the hostel and explain your intention to move to college accommodation. In your letter: - introduce yourself - give reasons why you are not happy with the current accommodation - explain why you think college accommodation will be better for you
Sample Response
Dear Sir or MadamDear Sir/Madam, I am a second-year science studenta Science major sophomore atin your college. I am originally from Brazil and my student ID number is S2-5487. I would like to request that you arrangerequest you to arrange suitable accommodation for me in the college hostel as my current housing arrangement is both inconvenient and expensiveutterly inconvenient and rather expensive. I came to the UK last year and have stayed with a relative for around six months before moving to private accommodationto a private accommodation with a Russian family. I applied to the college authority for a hostel roomapplied for a hostel room to the college authority before moving to the private accommodation but did not get one as a fresher, which I guess is no longer applicable to me. Regrettably, I am experiencinghaving serious difficultiesunendurable inconveniences at my current livingresiding arrangement. Commuting takes more than three hours each dayThe traffic kills more than 3 hours per day and I can barely find enough time to studymanage my time to study for the exams. The family I live with has frequent guests and parties. I have little privacy there and would like to be near the college to reduce my commuting timesave the time spent on the road. Moreover, being on campusat the heart of the college would allow me to have more opportunities to interact with teachersbetter interactions with teachers and my classmates. Finally, this would be more affordablemore pocket-friendly for me. I, hereby, request you to allow me a single room at the college hostel as soon as possible. I would be much obliged. Yours faithfully, Lucas Libra
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter introduces the student precisely, explains the long commute, frequent parties, limited privacy, and high cost, and connects each problem to clear benefits of living on campus. Its strongest feature is comprehensive, persuasive task coverage; the main limitation is one-paragraph presentation and some exaggerated or unnatural wording. Prioritise concise formal phrasing and grouped paragraphs for the current problems and requested solution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose and identity are clear, both remaining bullet points are fully developed, and the formal request is persuasive and relevant.
Trim the earlier housing history and specify a preferred move-in date or semester to make the practical request even more actionable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a logical sequence from introduction and prior application to current difficulties and campus benefits, but one-paragraph presentation limits readability.
Separate personal details, current-accommodation problems, campus benefits, and the final room request into focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of housing and academic vocabulary, though some choices are exaggerated, informal, or unnatural.
Replace 'unendurable inconveniences', 'current residing arrangement', 'traffic kills three hours', and 'pocket-friendly' with precise formal alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are handled with generally good control, despite occasional tense, article, punctuation, and modifier issues.
Use 'I stayed with a relative', 'private accommodation', and a clear clause explaining that first-year priority no longer applies.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are a college student in an English speaking country. You share a rented apartment with others but want to move to the college accommodation instead. Write a letter to the teacher in charge of the hostel and explain your intention to move to college accommodation. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- give reasons why you are not happy with the current accommodation
- explain why you think college accommodation will be better for you
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.