You are a college student in an English speaking country. You share a rented apartment with others but want to move to the college accommodation instead. Write a letter to the teacher in charge of the hostel and explain your intention to move to college accommodation. In your letter: - introduce yourself - give reasons why you are not happy with the current accommodation - explain why you think college accommodation will be better for you
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam, I am a Science major sophomore in your college. I am originally from Brazil and my student ID number is S2-5487. I would like to request you to arrange suitable accommodation for me in the college hostel as my current housing arrangement is utterly inconvenient and rather expensive. I came to the UK last year and have stayed with a relative for around six months before moving to a private accommodation with a Russian family. I applied for a hostel room to the college authority before moving to the private accommodation but did not get one as a fresher, which I guess is no longer applicable to me. Regrettably, I am having unendurable inconveniences at my current residing arrangement. The traffic kills more than 3 hours per day and I can barely manage my time to study for the exams. The family I live with has frequent guests and parties. I have little privacy there and would like to be near the college to save the time spent on the road. Moreover, being at the heart of the college would allow me to have better interactions with teachers and my classmates. Finally, this would be more pocket-friendly for me. I, hereby, request you to allow me a single room at the college hostel as soon as possible. I would be much obliged. Yours faithfully, Lucas Libra
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct noun order Original: a Science major sophomore Suggested revision: a sophomore science major Why it matters: The year of study should precede the field, and ‘science’ does not need a capital letter here.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Use ‘at’ when referring to attendance at an educational institution.
- 3. Natural request pattern Original: request Suggested revision: ask Why it matters: ‘Ask someone to do something’ is the natural grammatical pattern here.
- 4. Measured formal tone Original: utterly Suggested revision: highly Why it matters: ‘Highly inconvenient’ conveys the difficulty in a more measured formal register.
- 5. Fix tense sequence Original: have stayed with a relative Suggested revision: stayed with a relative Why it matters: Use the simple past because this completed stay preceded the later move.
- 6. Uncountable noun Original: a private accommodation Suggested revision: private accommodation Why it matters: ‘Accommodation’ is uncountable in this use and does not take ‘a’.
- 7. Fix application pattern Original: applied for a hostel room to the college authority Suggested revision: applied to the college authorities for a hostel room Why it matters: The correct pattern is ‘apply to someone for something’.
- 8. Clarify the reason Original: as a fresher Suggested revision: because I was a first-year student Why it matters: This makes the reason explicit and uses wording broadly understood in formal correspondence.
- 9. Clarify reference Original: which I guess is no longer applicable to me Suggested revision: but that restriction should no longer apply to me Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the earlier restriction, rather than the room, no longer applies.
- 10. Natural difficulty phrase Original: having unendurable inconveniences Suggested revision: experiencing serious difficulties Why it matters: The original combination is unnatural, while this phrase states the problem clearly.
- 11. Natural housing phrase Original: at my current residing arrangement Suggested revision: with my current living arrangement Why it matters: ‘Living arrangement’ is the standard expression, and it takes the preposition ‘with’ here.
- 12. Use active verb Original: has frequent guests and parties Suggested revision: frequently hosts guests and parties Why it matters: A family hosts guests and parties; it does not naturally ‘have’ them in this meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- a Science major sophomore a sophomore science major
- in at
- request ask
- utterly highly
- have stayed with a relative stayed with a relative
- a private accommodation private accommodation
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fulfils the request effectively, giving a clear introduction, several concrete problems with the current accommodation, and relevant benefits of living on campus in a suitably formal tone. Its main limitation is uneven language precision, with several unnatural collocations and some grammatical or prepositional slips. The highest priority is to replace forced phrases with natural formal expressions and organise the content into clear paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully covers all three bullet points with specific, persuasive reasons and an appropriately formal request.
Clarify the exact desired move date or availability requirement to make the practical purpose of the request even more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a clear progression from introduction and request to present difficulties, expected benefits, and conclusion.
Use separate paragraphs for personal background, current accommodation problems, and the benefits of college housing.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a good range of formal vocabulary, but unnatural phrases such as 'unendurable inconveniences' and 'current residing arrangement' reduce precision.
Prefer natural formal collocations such as 'serious difficulties,' 'current living arrangement,' and 'the commute takes three hours.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex and simple structures communicates the message clearly, though article, tense, and preposition errors recur.
Review uncountable nouns and verb patterns, especially 'private accommodation,' 'stayed before moving,' and 'applied to the college for a room.'
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are a college student in an English speaking country. You share a rented apartment with others but want to move to the college accommodation instead. Write a letter to the teacher in charge of the hostel and explain your intention to move to college accommodation. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- give reasons why you are not happy with the current accommodation
- explain why you think college accommodation will be better for you
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.