You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. Write a letter to the college. In your letter: - outline what your room needs are - outline what your food needs are - ask what alternatives are available if the college cannot provide what you want
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have been accepted into the MBA course for the next academic year in your prestigious college. I am writing to inquire about suitable accommodation in the college Hall of Residence as I want to reserve it before I travel to the UK to join my classes. I am looking for a single room with an attached bathroom and laundry facility. The room should be fully furnished and have good ventilation and ample natural light. Since I am a vegetarian, I would like to cook my own food, so accommodation with a fully equipped kitchen would be mandatory. If the above arrangement is not available in the Hall of Residence then I would not mind living with a local family who lived near the college. I would like to avoid daily long commuting to attend my classes and prefer a couple without children. Please notify me if you would like to have any additional information from my end. Waiting to hear from you soon regarding the availability of the accommodation and further process to reserve it. Yours faithfully, Preeti Ghuraiya
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate salutation Original: Dear Sir or Madam, I have Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, I have Why it matters: A formal letter should place the salutation on a separate line.
- 2. Use course preposition Original: into Suggested revision: onto Why it matters: In British English, a student is accepted "onto" a course.
- 3. Clarify time and place Original: next academic year in your prestigious college Suggested revision: next academic year at your college Why it matters: The revision uses the correct place preposition and removes unnecessary flattery.
- 4. Use possessive residence phrase Original: in the college Hall of Residence Suggested revision: in the college's hall of residence Why it matters: The possessive form clearly identifies the hall as belonging to the college.
- 5. Use polite reason link Original: as I want to reserve Suggested revision: because I would like to reserve Why it matters: The revision makes the reason explicit and maintains a polite formal tone.
- 6. Use study collocation Original: join my classes Suggested revision: begin my course Why it matters: Students begin a course rather than join their classes in this context.
- 7. Use accommodation term Original: attached bathroom Suggested revision: en-suite bathroom Why it matters: "En-suite bathroom" is the standard accommodation term in the UK.
- 8. Clarify facility access Original: and laundry facility Suggested revision: and access to laundry facilities Why it matters: The writer needs access to shared facilities rather than one unspecified facility attached to the room.
- 9. Request kitchen access Original: accommodation with a fully equipped kitchen Suggested revision: accommodation with access to a fully equipped kitchen Why it matters: A resident normally requests access to a kitchen rather than accommodation physically possessing one.
- 10. Use personal requirement Original: would be mandatory Suggested revision: would be essential for me Why it matters: The revision frames the kitchen as the applicant's need rather than a universal rule.
- 11. Add conditional comma Original: Residence then Suggested revision: Residence, then Why it matters: A comma follows the opening if-clause before the main clause.
- 12. Fix relative and tense Original: family who lived Suggested revision: family that lives Why it matters: The alternative is a family, not a person, and the location is a present fact.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, I have Dear Sir or Madam, I have
- into onto
- next academic year in your prestigious college next academic year at your college
- in the college Hall of Residence in the college's hall of residence
- as I want to reserve because I would like to reserve
- join my classes begin my course
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter’s strongest feature is its thorough practical coverage of room, food, and alternative accommodation requirements in a consistently appropriate formal tone. Its main limitation is grammatical polish, with tense errors, awkward collocations, and a sentence fragment near the close; the highest-priority improvement is to divide the requests into clear paragraphs and proofread verb forms and complete-sentence structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are developed with specific room, cooking, location, and host-family preferences.
Ask explicitly whether the college can arrange the proposed host-family alternative and what booking steps would apply.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a logical sequence from residence requirements to food needs and alternatives, though the single-block format limits readability.
Use separate paragraphs for the room, food, alternative accommodation, and final administrative request.
Lexical Resource
A good range of precise accommodation vocabulary is used, with a few awkward combinations such as “daily long commuting” and “from my end.”
Prefer natural phrases such as “a long daily commute,” “any further information,” and “the reservation process.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures, but errors in tense, conditional phrasing, articles, and the fragment “Waiting to hear” recur.
Write “a local family who live near the college” and “I look forward to hearing from you” as complete, controlled sentences.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. Write a letter to the college. In your letter:
- outline what your room needs are
- outline what your food needs are
- ask what alternatives are available if the college cannot provide what you want
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.