You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. Write a letter to the college. In your letter: - outline what your room needs are - outline what your food needs are - ask what alternatives are available if the college cannot provide what you want
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inform you that I have recently got admitted to your college and my class will begin next January. And for that, I want to reserve my accommodation in your college Hall of Residence before I reach the United Kingdom to join my class. For my accommodation, I would like to have a single room with an attached bathroom and kitchen. The laundry service should be available as I do not want to do my own laundry. If such accommodation is not possible then I could go for a shared accommodation but the room should be large enough. Coming to the food, I would prefer a vegetarian menu as I am a vegetarian. If it is not provided by the college canteen then I would like to get access to the kitchen to cook my own food. The above-stated requirements are my priority but if they do not match with your offered facilities, I would prefer to know your available options in advance so that I can make up my mind. If a seat in the college resident is not possible, I can stay with a couple near the college who would respect my privacy. Thank you in advance. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Mansoor Afzal
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate the salutation Original: Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing Why it matters: A formal letter should place the message on a new line after the salutation.
- 2. Fix passive admission form Original: got Suggested revision: been Why it matters: Admission by the college requires the passive construction “have been admitted.”
- 3. Name the course Original: my class will begin Suggested revision: my course begins Why it matters: A course, rather than a single class, normally has the stated January start date.
- 4. Use formal transition Original: And for that Suggested revision: Therefore Why it matters: “Therefore” links the admission and accommodation request more formally.
- 5. Make polite request Original: I want to reserve my accommodation Suggested revision: I would like to reserve accommodation Why it matters: The replacement is more appropriately polite for a request to the college.
- 6. Remove wordiness Original: before I reach the United Kingdom to join my class Suggested revision: before I arrive in the United Kingdom Why it matters: The course start has already been stated, so the final purpose phrase is redundant.
- 7. Request laundry facilities Original: The laundry service should be available Suggested revision: Laundry facilities should be available Why it matters: The need is access to facilities rather than necessarily a staffed service.
- 8. Use courteous preference Original: do not want to do my own laundry Suggested revision: would prefer not to do my own laundry Why it matters: The replacement expresses the preference less bluntly.
- 9. Remove incorrect article Original: a shared accommodation Suggested revision: shared accommodation Why it matters: “Accommodation” is uncountable and does not take “a” here.
- 10. Use formal topic shift Original: Coming to the food Suggested revision: Regarding meals Why it matters: The replacement introduces the food requirements more concisely and formally.
- 11. Clarify the pronoun Original: If it is not provided by the college canteen Suggested revision: If vegetarian meals are not provided by the college canteen Why it matters: The explicit noun phrase removes ambiguity about what “it” refers to.
- 12. Use concise phrasing Original: get access to the kitchen Suggested revision: have access to a kitchen Why it matters: “Have access” is the natural formal collocation, and no specific kitchen has been identified.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
- got been
- my class will begin my course begins
- And for that Therefore
- I want to reserve my accommodation I would like to reserve accommodation
- before I reach the United Kingdom to join my class before I arrive in the United Kingdom
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter addresses the accommodation request thoroughly by specifying room, laundry, cooking, and vegetarian-food needs and by considering fallback options. Its main weakness is that the alternatives are described more as the writer’s own solutions than as a direct request for information, while one-block organisation and awkward wording reduce polish. Prioritise asking the college explicitly what residence or nearby housing alternatives it can offer, then organise the requirements into short functional paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points receive relevant detail, though the request for college-provided alternatives is somewhat indirect.
Ask directly which shared rooms, catered options, or approved off-campus accommodation the college can offer if the preferred room is unavailable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses sensibly from room needs to food and alternatives, but the single-block format and some repeated conditional phrasing reduce readability.
Create separate paragraphs for the room request, dietary needs, and alternative arrangements, followed by a brief closing.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and specific to accommodation, but expressions such as got admitted, shared accommodation, a seat in the college resident, and make up my mind are imprecise.
Use have been admitted, a shared room, a place in the hall of residence, and decide which option to accept.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex conditional forms are generally clear, but article use, sentence openings, punctuation, and noun forms contain noticeable errors.
Correct forms such as a shared room, access to a kitchen, and a place in the residence, and avoid beginning the second sentence with And.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. Write a letter to the college. In your letter:
- outline what your room needs are
- outline what your food needs are
- ask what alternatives are available if the college cannot provide what you want
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.