You travelled by a long-distance bus recently and your suitcase was damaged. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter: - inform the bus company of when and to where you travelled - describe your suitcase and what happened to it - explain why the company should pay for a new suitcase
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I travelled from London to Manchester on 20th January 2025 on your bus - M548, and unfortunately, my new suitcase was completely damaged due to mishandling by a staff member on the bus. I'm writing to claim the compensation for the damage while using your service and hoping to hear from you soon regarding this. The bus I took left London Central Bus Station at 2:00 pm on 20th July and I handed over my suitcase to a bus staff before taking my seat. It is a four-wheel suitcase made by TravelPro and it contained my personal belongings. When I arrived at the Manchester Bus Terminal, I got my suitcase back but to my surprise, its upper part was torn down and two of its wheels were broken. I immediately complained to the bus driver but he didn't take any action and advised me to write to you instead. I purchased this suitcase only a week ago and the warranty does not cover such forceful physical damage. As your bus staff is responsible for the damage, I am entitled to get proper compensation. I am attaching the invoice for my suitcase and pictures of the damaged suitcase with this letter. I look forward to hearing from you regarding this soon. Yours faithfully, Milad Rahimi
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove stray dash Original: bus - M548 Suggested revision: bus M548 Why it matters: The vehicle number should directly identify the bus without a spaced dash.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: claim the compensation Suggested revision: claim compensation Why it matters: Compensation is uncountable in this general sense and does not take the definite article here.
- 3. Clarify cause of damage Original: damage while using your service Suggested revision: damage caused while I was using your service Why it matters: This wording makes the relationship between the journey and the damage clearer.
- 4. Use countable staff phrase Original: a bus staff Suggested revision: a member of the bus staff Why it matters: Staff is a collective noun, so one employee should be described as a member of staff.
- 5. Choose precise damage verb Original: torn down Suggested revision: torn Why it matters: Torn down normally describes demolishing a structure, whereas torn describes damaged fabric.
- 6. Use natural damage phrase Original: forceful Suggested revision: accidental Why it matters: This phrase states the type of damage more naturally in an insurance context.
- 7. Use formal compensation phrase Original: get proper compensation Suggested revision: receive appropriate compensation Why it matters: Receive appropriate compensation is more precise and formal for a complaint letter.
- 8. Use enclosure wording Original: with this letter Suggested revision: enclosed with this letter Why it matters: Enclosed clearly indicates that the supporting documents accompany the letter.
- 9. Reconcile the travel date Suggested revision: Use one consistent date for the journey in both references, including the correct month and year. Why it matters: The letter first states 20 January 2025 but later gives 20 July, which makes the key journey details contradictory.
Suggested Rewrites
- bus - M548 bus M548
- claim the compensation claim compensation
- damage while using your service damage caused while I was using your service
- a bus staff a member of the bus staff
- torn down torn
- forceful accidental
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully explains the journey, suitcase damage, and basis for compensation in a suitably formal, purposeful tone. Its main weakness is the contradictory travel date—20 January in the opening and 20 July later—along with several awkward collocations and the lack of paragraphing. Prioritise making the factual account internally consistent, then organise the journey, damage, and requested remedy into separate paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are well developed, but the conflicting January and July travel dates undermine the account's credibility.
Use one consistent travel date and explicitly request the cost of a replacement suitcase rather than only proper compensation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account progresses logically from the journey to the damage and claim, though presenting everything in one paragraph weakens organisation.
Separate the travel details, description of the damage, and justification for replacement into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses an adequate range of formal complaint vocabulary, but phrases such as claim the compensation and torn down are awkward.
Use natural alternatives such as claim compensation, torn open, and member of staff.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence forms is used with generally good control, despite occasional article, preposition, and phrasing errors.
Proofread articles and verb patterns in phrases such as claim compensation for damage caused while using your service.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You travelled by a long-distance bus recently and your suitcase was damaged. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter:
- inform the bus company of when and to where you travelled
- describe your suitcase and what happened to it
- explain why the company should pay for a new suitcase
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.