You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter: - explain your situation - describe your problems - tell him/her when you think you can start
Same question Compare 4 different answersSample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to thank you for the opportunity to be a part of your organisation. I was offered the Junior Executive position in your organisation and was supposed to start my office on 2nd April 2025. However, a problem has arisen and it forces me to delay my joining for a month than initially planned. As you know, I currently work for my father's gift shop, and you will remember from my interview that I have gained valuable experience from my involvement in this business. Unfortunately, my father has been admitted to a hospital for his illness, leaving me in charge of both the home and the business. As this is a particularly busy time for the shop, I am forced to take charge of running the shop. I can understand that it would be inconvenient for you but I am hoping that you would consider the circumstances and allow me to take up my position with your company one month later than the date we initially agreed upon. I would like to emphasise that I remain very keen to work for your company and would be ready to join from 1st May 2025. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Brian Hall
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct collocation Original: start my office Suggested revision: start work Why it matters: A person starts work or starts a job, not an office.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: admitted to a hospital for his illness Suggested revision: admitted to hospital because of an illness Why it matters: This wording expresses both the admission and its cause naturally.
- 3. Clarify household responsibility Original: both the home and the business Suggested revision: both our household and the business Why it matters: “Our household” identifies the domestic responsibility more precisely than “the home.”
- 4. Avoid wordy repetition Original: take charge of running the shop Suggested revision: run it Why it matters: The shorter replacement avoids repeating “charge” and “shop” from the surrounding sentences.
- 5. Add comma before but Original: for you but Suggested revision: for you, but Why it matters: A comma should separate the two independent clauses joined by “but.”
- 6. Align tense and modal Original: I am hoping that you would consider Suggested revision: I hope that you will consider Why it matters: The present request requires “hope” with “will,” rather than the hypothetical “would.”
- 7. Use definite future Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: Use “will” for the firm future start date being offered.
- 8. Use concise collocation Original: opportunity to be a part of Suggested revision: opportunity to join Why it matters: “Join” expresses becoming part of the organisation more directly.
- 9. Use natural preposition Original: in Suggested revision: with Why it matters: “A position with an organisation” is the more natural collocation.
- 10. Use direct reason link Original: As Suggested revision: Since Why it matters: “Since” links the busy period directly to the need to run the shop.
- 11. Use measured wording Original: I am forced Suggested revision: I need Why it matters: The neutral verb is more suitable for a professional explanation.
- 12. Make statement direct Original: I can understand Suggested revision: I understand Why it matters: The simple present form is more direct and natural here.
Suggested Rewrites
- start my office start work
- admitted to a hospital for his illness admitted to hospital because of an illness
- both the home and the business both our household and the business
- take charge of running the shop run it
- for you but for you, but
- I am hoping that you would consider I hope that you will consider
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully explains the delayed start, gives a convincing reason, and proposes a precise new date in a consistently respectful tone. The main limitation is presentation as one continuous block, alongside a few awkward expressions about beginning work and delaying the start. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the message into purposeful paragraphs and replace those unnatural collocations with concise professional wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The communicative purpose is achieved fully through a clear explanation, well-developed circumstances, a specific revised start date, and an appropriate formal tone.
Make the request even more direct by explicitly asking the employer to confirm acceptance of the revised start date.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a clear and logical sequence with effective linking, although the entire letter is presented as a single body block.
Use separate paragraphs for the delay, the family and business circumstances, and the proposed solution.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and suitably formal, but expressions such as start my office and delay my joining are noticeably unnatural.
Replace awkward employment collocations with natural alternatives such as start work and postpone my start date.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates varied complex structures with good overall control, despite a few errors in comparison and phrasing.
Correct comparative constructions, for example changing for a month than initially planned to by one month from the original date.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter:
- explain your situation
- describe your problems
- tell him/her when you think you can start
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.