You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter: - explain your situation - describe your problems - tell him/her when you think you can start
Same question Compare all 3 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have been recruited as a Sales Supervisor by your organisation in an interview held at your Los Angeles office on 17th September and I am supposed to join on 1st November. However, due to a personal emergency, I will not be able to do so and thus I am writing this letter to you to accept a week's delay in joining. Last week, my mother became seriously ill and I had to rush her to a local hospital after I travelled to my hometown in Starkville, Mississippi. After a few tests, the doctors informed us that she has severe diabetes and needs medical attention. The doctor instructed that she should be brought to the hospital for a daily checkup for the next three weeks. Coincidentally, my father is not around and I am the only one to take her for the checkup. I sincerely apologise for not being able to join the job as promised but I assure you that I can start on 8th November 2024. My father is returning home next weekend and he will then take over the responsibility of taking my mother to the hospital, making me available for my office commitments. Yours faithfully, John Carter
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: in Suggested revision: following Why it matters: This phrasing expresses more naturally how the appointment resulted from the interview.
- 2. Clarify the start date Original: supposed to join on 1st November Suggested revision: due to start work on 1st November Why it matters: This is a more precise formal expression for beginning a new job.
- 3. Use active structure Original: The doctor instructed that she should be brought to the hospital Suggested revision: The doctor instructed us to bring her to the hospital Why it matters: The active infinitive structure is clearer and more natural after “instructed” here.
- 4. Match repeated visits Original: for a daily checkup Suggested revision: for daily checkups Why it matters: Because the visits occur repeatedly over three weeks, the count noun should be plural.
- 5. Use a fitting link Original: Coincidentally Suggested revision: Unfortunately Why it matters: This connector better signals that the father’s absence makes the situation more difficult.
- 6. Use formal wording Original: my father is not around Suggested revision: my father is currently away Why it matters: “Currently away” is more precise and suitably formal for an employer.
- 7. State the result clearly Original: making me available for my office commitments Suggested revision: allowing me to begin work as agreed Why it matters: This wording connects the father’s return directly to the promised job start.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: However, due to a personal emergency, I will not be able to do so and thus I am writing this letter to you to accept a week's delay in joining. Suggested revision: However, due to a personal emergency, I cannot start on that date, so I am writing to ask you to accept a one-week delay to my start date. Why it matters: The original wording incorrectly suggests that the writer, rather than the employer, will accept the delay.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Last week, my mother became seriously ill and I had to rush her to a local hospital after I travelled to my hometown in Starkville, Mississippi. Suggested revision: Last week, my mother became seriously ill, so I travelled to my hometown in Starkville, Mississippi, and rushed her to a local hospital. Why it matters: Reordering the events makes their sequence and connection easier to follow.
- 10. Separate the letter sections Suggested revision: Divide the letter into paragraphs for the request, the explanation of the emergency, and the confirmed start date. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the purpose and progression easier for the employer to scan.
Suggested Rewrites
- in following
- supposed to join on 1st November due to start work on 1st November
- The doctor instructed that she should be brought to the hospital The doctor instructed us to bring her to the hospital
- for a daily checkup for daily checkups
- Coincidentally Unfortunately
- my father is not around my father is currently away
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter fully explains the unavoidable delay, develops the family emergency convincingly, and gives a firm revised start date in an appropriately respectful tone. Its main weakness is presentation: the response is not divided into clear paragraphs, and the wording used to request acceptance of the delay is awkward. Prioritise clearer paragraphing and more natural request language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully addressed, and the emergency and revised start date are developed in an appropriate formal tone.
Phrase the central request more directly by asking the employer to approve or accommodate the one-week delay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from the intended start date through the emergency to the proposed solution, with cohesive links used effectively.
Divide the letter into clear paragraphs for the request, supporting circumstances, and revised joining arrangements.
Lexical Resource
A flexible and generally precise formal vocabulary conveys the employment and medical circumstances clearly, though a few collocations are awkward.
Replace unnatural combinations such as accept a delay in joining with more idiomatic formal request language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used with strong control, and the few lapses do not impede communication.
Refine the occasional awkward clause relationship, particularly the sequence describing the journey home and hospital visit.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter:
- explain your situation
- describe your problems
- tell him/her when you think you can start
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.