You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain the situation - say what action you would like the company to take
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, A week ago I purchased a Sony digital camera from your store. I was excited when I brought it home but very disappointed to find that the product was faulty and unusable. I am 28 years old and working in a private company. I am hoping you will replace it. In relation to the specifics of the order, I purchased this Sony - Cyber-shot DSC-HX80 18.2-Megapixel Digital Camera from your store on April 17th using my Visa credit card. The order number is D4582135 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt. The issue with the camera is that sometimes it turns off unexpectedly, strange dots appear on the LCD screen and I cannot access the photos in internal memory, so I’m sure these are manufacturing flaws. As a solution, and because I really like the functionality of the camera, I am hoping that you will agree to replace the faulty one with a new and fresh one. Otherwise, I would like a full refund. If I do not hear back from you in regards to this within a week, I would like to lodge a written complaint to your higher authority. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Oliver Felix
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use parallel present verbs Original: working Suggested revision: work Why it matters: The coordinated clauses require parallel finite verbs in the simple present.
- 2. State request directly Original: I am hoping you will replace it Suggested revision: I hope you will replace it Why it matters: The simple present makes the requested action more direct and concise.
- 3. Condense purchase reference Original: In relation to the specifics of the order Suggested revision: Regarding the purchase details Why it matters: The replacement introduces the transaction information more concisely.
- 4. Remove incorrect spaces Original: this Sony - Cyber-shot Suggested revision: this Sony Cyber-shot Why it matters: The spaced hyphen incorrectly separates the brand from the product name.
- 5. Use lowercase product nouns Original: 18.2-Megapixel Digital Camera Suggested revision: 18.2-megapixel digital camera Why it matters: The measurement modifier and common product nouns should not be capitalized mid-sentence.
- 6. Use formal date style Original: on April 17th Suggested revision: on 17 April Why it matters: The day-month format without an ordinal ending is standard in formal British correspondence.
- 7. Separate independent clauses Original: D4582135 and Suggested revision: D4582135, and Why it matters: A comma is needed before and when it joins two independent clauses.
- 8. Use completed attachment tense Original: I am attaching a copy Suggested revision: I have attached a copy Why it matters: The present perfect is natural when the document accompanies the completed letter.
- 9. Remove broken transition Original: As a solution, and because Suggested revision: Because Why it matters: The original combination creates an awkward introductory structure, while Because correctly introduces the reason.
- 10. Make request concise Original: I am hoping that you will agree Suggested revision: I hope you will agree Why it matters: The simple present states the request more directly and avoids unnecessary words.
- 11. Remove unsuitable adjective Original: a new and fresh one Suggested revision: a new one Why it matters: Fresh is not normally used to describe a replacement electronic product.
- 12. Correct fixed phrase Original: in regards to this Suggested revision: regarding this matter Why it matters: Regarding is concise and avoids the nonstandard plural form in regards to.
Suggested Rewrites
- working work
- I am hoping you will replace it I hope you will replace it
- In relation to the specifics of the order Regarding the purchase details
- this Sony - Cyber-shot this Sony Cyber-shot
- 18.2-Megapixel Digital Camera 18.2-megapixel digital camera
- on April 17th on 17 April
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly identifies the customer and purchase, explains the camera faults in useful detail, and requests a replacement or refund in an appropriately firm tone. Its main limitation is that it contradicts or omits the prompt's central history: the camera was returned and discussed with a representative a week ago but remains unrepaired. The priority is to establish that chronology explicitly before describing the faults and requested resolution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The introduction, faults, and requested action are developed, but the letter fails to explain the prior return, conversation, and unresolved repair delay.
State when the camera was returned, identify the representative or repair promise, and explain that no repair or update has followed after one week.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content follows a sensible sequence from purchase to faults and remedy, but the absence of paragraphing makes the letter dense and weakens emphasis.
Use separate paragraphs for customer and order details, the return and repair history, the faults, and the requested action.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for a formal complaint, though phrases such as 'new and fresh one', 'higher authority', and 'in regards to' are unnatural.
Use precise formal expressions such as 'a new replacement', 'a senior manager', 'with regard to', and 'manufacturing defects'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is mostly accurate and easy to understand, with only occasional problems in collocation and sentence balance.
Refine long coordinated sentences and use standard patterns such as 'access photos stored in the internal memory' and 'complain to senior management'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain the situation
- say what action you would like the company to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.