You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - Introduce yourself - Explain the situation - Say what action you would like the company to take
Sample Response
Dear Sir / Madam, My name is Mark Roberts and I am writing to you regarding a Nokia camera that I bought at your department store on Sunhill Road, Dewsbury, on the 5th September. The camera seemed to work fine in the shop. However, upon returning home, it became clear that the shutter mechanism was not functioning properly. In addition to this, there was a small scratch on the lens. I therefore returned to the shop the following day, on the 6th September, and spoke to a company representative about the issue. I left the camera with the assistant and they assured me that they would look into the problem with a view to repairing the camera and get back to me a few days later. However, it has now been one week and when I contacted the shop again they said that the camera has still not been fixed and they do not know how long it will be. As I am sure you will understand, it is not acceptable to be waiting for such a long time for it to be repaired. I would therefore like to request that I be given a full refund should I not receive the repaired camera by the end of this week. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully Mark Roberts
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard salutation Original: Dear Sir / Madam Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, Why it matters: A formal letter should use the conventional salutation without a slash.
- 2. Format the date Original: on the 5th September Suggested revision: on 5 September Why it matters: This date form is more concise and conventional in formal writing.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: work fine Suggested revision: function properly Why it matters: The replacement gives this formal complaint a more precise register.
- 4. Match verb forms Original: get Suggested revision: getting Why it matters: The coordinated phrase after “with a view to” requires parallel gerund forms.
- 5. Format the sign-off Original: Yours faithfully Mark Roberts Suggested revision: Yours faithfully, Mark Roberts Why it matters: The closing phrase needs a comma and the writer’s name should follow separately.
- 6. Sentence rewrite Original: However, it has now been one week and when I contacted the shop again they said that the camera has still not been fixed and they do not know how long it will be. Suggested revision: However, one week has now passed. When I contacted the shop again, I was told that the camera was still not fixed and that the staff did not know how long the repair would take. Why it matters: Dividing the overloaded sentence clarifies the sequence and removes ambiguous pronouns.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: As I am sure you will understand, it is not acceptable to be waiting for such a long time for it to be repaired. Suggested revision: As I am sure you will understand, this delay is unacceptable. Why it matters: The concise version avoids repetitive and vague wording while preserving the complaint.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: I would therefore like to request that I be given a full refund should I not receive the repaired camera by the end of this week. Suggested revision: I would therefore like the camera repaired and returned by the end of this week; otherwise, I request a full refund. Why it matters: This version states the deadline and the requested alternative action more directly.
- 9. Separate letter sections Suggested revision: Use separate paragraphs for the purchase and fault, the repair history, and the requested resolution. Why it matters: Clear paragraph breaks would make the complaint’s progression easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir / Madam Dear Sir or Madam,
- on the 5th September on 5 September
- work fine function properly
- get getting
- Yours faithfully Mark Roberts Yours faithfully, Mark Roberts
- However, it has now been one week and when I contacted the shop again they said that the camera has still not been fixed and they do not know how long it will be. However, one week has now passed. When I contacted the shop again, I was told that the camera was still not fixed and that the staff did not know how long the repair would take.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is highly effective in its precise account of the purchase, defects, previous contact, and requested resolution, while maintaining an appropriately firm and courteous tone. Its main limitation is that the whole message forms one dense block despite the clear logical sequence. Dividing the account and requested action into purposeful paragraphs, while correcting the isolated parallel-structure slip, would make an already strong response more polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully addresses the purpose and all three bullet points with specific, relevant detail and a consistently appropriate formal tone.
Preserve this directness while making the requested deadline and consequence equally prominent in a distinct closing paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically through the purchase, faults, attempted repair, delay, and requested remedy, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Separate the context, complaint history, and requested action into clear paragraphs so the reader can scan the letter more easily.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise, with effective formal choices such as "shutter mechanism," "functioning properly," and "full refund."
Continue refining collocations so every phrase is as economical and natural as the strongest wording in the letter.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few slips do not impede meaning.
Correct the isolated parallelism in "with a view to repairing the camera and get back to me" by using matching grammatical forms.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- Introduce yourself
- Explain the situation
- Say what action you would like the company to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.