You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - Introduce yourself - Explain the situation - Say what action you would like the company to take
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
Recently, Just two weeks ago, I bought a Brand new Xiaomi Redmi Note 8 smartphone from one of your reputed retail outlet stores. I was delighted to purchase it, but within a week, the purchase of my dream phone turned into a nightmare when all of a sudden device got forze, and the display stopped responding. As per the replacement warranty, I am hoping you will replace it with the new one.
In relation to this purchase, I purchased this gadget from your Eiffel Tower store on December 15, 2021, and paid through Credit Card. The model of the phone is the Redmi Note 8, which has 5.2 inches display, 48-megapixel camera, Octa-core processor, 64 GB internal memory and 6 GB RAM. As my phone is in a replacement warranty period, I immediately contacted Xiaomi Authorised Service Centre in Surat on December 21. The service representative told me that the phone will be checked and as a replacement a brand new phone will be delivered to your address very soon. But I was absolutely shocked when this person told me that the phone had not been checked yet! Because of this, I am facing communication issues in my business.
So as per contract, I am entitled to a one-year replacement warranty. I am hoping you will replace it with immediate effect. Otherwise, I would be forced to seek legal advice.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation and action.
Yours faithfully,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove doubled time marker Original: Recently, Just two weeks ago Suggested revision: Just two weeks ago Why it matters: ‘Recently’ and ‘two weeks ago’ duplicate the same time reference.
- 2. Fix compound modifier Original: a Brand new Xiaomi Suggested revision: a brand-new Xiaomi Why it matters: The common compound adjective should be lowercase and hyphenated before the brand name.
- 3. Fix awkward store phrase Original: one of your reputed retail outlet stores Suggested revision: one of your reputable retail outlets Why it matters: ‘Reputable retail outlets’ is the natural expression for trusted company shops.
- 4. Add article and reorder Original: all of a sudden device Suggested revision: the device suddenly Why it matters: The countable noun needs an article, and the adverb fits naturally before the verb.
- 5. Correct frozen verb Original: got forze Suggested revision: froze Why it matters: ‘Froze’ is the correct past-tense form of ‘freeze’.
- 6. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The requested replacement phone has not previously been identified, so it needs ‘a’.
- 7. Fix payment phrase Original: through Credit Card Suggested revision: by credit card Why it matters: ‘By credit card’ is the standard phrase for this payment method.
- 8. Fix measurement modifier Original: 5.2 inches display Suggested revision: a 5.2-inch display Why it matters: A singular hyphenated measurement is needed before ‘display’, along with an article.
- 9. Add missing article Original: 48-megapixel camera Suggested revision: a 48-megapixel camera Why it matters: The singular countable noun ‘camera’ requires an article in this list.
- 10. Add article and case Original: Octa-core processor Suggested revision: an octa-core processor Why it matters: The singular countable noun needs ‘an’, and the common adjective should be lowercase.
- 11. Add measure preposition Original: 64 GB internal memory Suggested revision: 64 GB of internal memory Why it matters: Use ‘of’ to connect the amount to the type of memory.
- 12. Use warranty collocation Original: in a replacement warranty period Suggested revision: within the replacement warranty period Why it matters: ‘Within the warranty period’ is the standard expression for valid coverage.
Suggested Rewrites
- Recently, Just two weeks ago Just two weeks ago
- a Brand new Xiaomi a brand-new Xiaomi
- one of your reputed retail outlet stores one of your reputable retail outlets
- all of a sudden device the device suddenly
- got forze froze
- the a
Why this response received Band 6.5
The complaint has a clear purpose, provides substantial purchase and service details, and makes the desired replacement unmistakable. Its effectiveness is reduced by repetition, some unnecessary product specifications, and frequent awkward or inaccurate language; the highest priority is to streamline the account around the failed phone and delayed repair, then correct article use and collocations to make the formal request more precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly explains the faulty phone, the unsuccessful service contact, and the requested replacement in an appropriately firm formal tone, though the personal introduction is limited and some specifications are unnecessary.
Introduce yourself more directly and replace the lengthy technical specification list with a concise account of the repair delay and its impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a broadly logical complaint-letter sequence, but repeated statements about the warranty and replacement make the progression less efficient.
Give each paragraph one distinct function and state the requested remedy once in the final action paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied complaint vocabulary, but spelling and collocational problems such as 'got forze' and 'replacement warranty period' reduce precision.
Use accurate formal combinations such as 'froze,' 'under warranty,' and 'replace it immediately,' and check spelling before submission.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex sentences and remains understandable, although article, preposition, agreement, and sentence-boundary errors occur repeatedly.
Edit complex sentences for missing articles and subjects, and attach fragments such as 'Because of this' to complete clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- Introduce yourself
- Explain the situation
- Say what action you would like the company to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.